We all need a listening ear from time to time, someone to offer a shoulder to cry on or a word of advice.
But choosing the right confidant is really important (and quite hard at times). Some people, despite their good intentions, might not be the best sounding boards for your problems. They could unintentionally make things worse or simply lack the capacity to offer the support you need. Here are some people you really shouldn’t bother to confide in.
1. Someone who always has to outdo you
You know the type – you tell them about your stressful day, and they launch into a tale of how their day was ten times worse. It’s as if your problems are a mere warm-up act for their grand performance of misery. These people are often competing for the title of ‘most troubled’, and your struggles become mere fodder for their ego.
2. Someone who gives unsolicited (and unhelpful) advice
While well-meaning, these folks just can’t resist dishing out advice, even when you haven’t asked for it. They tend to offer solutions that are completely impractical or irrelevant to your situation. Their eagerness to fix your problems can feel patronising and invalidating, leaving you feeling more overwhelmed than before.
3. Someone who’s an emotional vampire
These individuals thrive on drama and negativity. They feed off your emotional turmoil, leaving you feeling drained and depleted. They usually exaggerate your problems, offer pessimistic predictions, or simply wallow in your misery alongside you. Their presence, instead of offering solace, amplifies your distress.
4. Someone who interrupts constantly
They can’t seem to let you finish a sentence without jumping in with their own thoughts or opinions. They talk over you, change the subject, or simply dismiss your concerns altogether. Their inability to listen attentively makes you feel unheard and unimportant, leaving you frustrated and misunderstood.
5. Someone who’s judgmental due to their “morals”
These folks have a strict moral code and aren’t afraid to let you know when you’ve deviated from it. They criticise your choices, question your values, or simply make you feel guilty for your struggles. Their judgmental attitude can be incredibly demoralising, leaving you feeling ashamed and unworthy of support.
6. Someone who loves gossiping a little too much
Source: Unsplash They love to share juicy tidbits and can’t resist spreading the latest rumours. Confiding in them feels like broadcasting your problems to the entire neighbourhood. You never know who could end up hearing your personal struggles, leaving you vulnerable and exposed.
7. Someone who’s known for oversharing
Source: Unsplash They have no filter and will divulge their own intimate details without hesitation. While this might seem like a sign of openness, it can quickly become overwhelming. Their oversharing can feel invasive and distracting, making it difficult for you to focus on your own problems.
8. Someone who’s dismissive and always brushes off your feelings
Source: Unsplash These people have a knack for trivialising your problems. They tell you to “cheer up” or “look on the bright side,” dismissing your feelings as insignificant or exaggerated. Their dismissive attitude can feel invalidating and belittling, leaving you feeling unheard and unsupported.
9. Someone who thinks it’s their job to “fix” everyone
Source: Unsplash They can’t stand to see you struggling and immediately jump into problem-solving mode. While their intentions might be good, their constant attempts to fix your problems can feel overwhelming and suffocating. They often don’t allow you the space to process your emotions or come to your own conclusions, leaving you feeling infantilised and incapable.
10. Someone who’s emotionally unavailable
Source: Unsplash These people might be going through their own struggles or simply lack the emotional capacity to support you. They seem distant, distracted, or uninterested in your problems. Their emotional unavailability can leave you feeling isolated and unsupported, making your burdens feel even heavier.
11. Someone who’s previously proven themselves to be an unreliable confidant
Source: Unsplash They might be flaky, forgetful, or simply too busy to offer consistent support. They cancel plans at the last minute, forget important details about your situation, or simply disappear when you need them most. Their unreliability can leave you feeling abandoned and frustrated, making it difficult to trust them with your vulnerabilities.
12. Someone who’s always comparing apples and oranges
Source: Unsplash They can’t help but measure your problems against their own. They love to tell you about similar struggles they’ve faced, emphasising how they handled them with grace and resilience. Their competitive nature can make you feel inadequate and ashamed, as if your problems aren’t worthy of attention or empathy.
13. Someone who’s clueless about comforting people
They mean well, but their attempts at comfort often miss the mark. They offer platitudes, clichés, or simply awkward silences. Their inability to provide genuine solace can feel more frustrating than helpful, leaving you feeling misunderstood and unsupported.
14. Someone who always wants the spotlight for themselves
They turn your problems into an opportunity to shine the spotlight on themselves. They interrupt your story to talk about their own experiences, exaggerate their sympathy, or simply try to outdo your suffering. Their self-centredness can feel exploitative and insensitive, leaving you feeling unheard and unimportant.
