Feeling unheard can be incredibly frustrating, whether it’s in conversations with friends, family, or even just people you work with.
However, communication is a two-way street, and sometimes small adjustments can make a huge difference. If you often find yourself thinking, “Nobody listens to me,” here’s how to change that and make sure people listen to and take in what you have to say, just as they should.
1. Make eye contact when you speak.
Looking someone in the eye while talking signals confidence and invites attention. It helps create a stronger connection and shows that you’re serious about what you’re saying. Steady eye contact makes it harder for people to ignore or dismiss you.
2. Speak clearly and with intention.
Rushing through your words or mumbling can make it easy for people to tune out. Slow down, speak clearly, and choose your words intentionally. A calm, steady pace shows that you believe in what you’re saying and helps everyone follow your message more easily.
3. Use people’s names.
Addressing someone by their name grabs their attention and makes the conversation more personal. It subtly reinforces that you’re talking directly to them, not just speaking into the void. It’s super simple, but it can make people feel more engaged and respectful toward your input.
4. Cut out filler words.
Words like “um,” “like,” and “you know” can make you seem unsure or hesitant. Minimising filler words helps you sound more confident and assertive. The more concise your message, the easier it is for people to listen and take you seriously.
5. Start with the main point.
People’s attention spans are short, so lead with the key idea before diving into details. Beginning with, “Here’s what I need” or “The main issue is…” helps people focus right away. Getting straight to the point prevents your message from getting lost in rambling.
6. Be assertive, not aggressive.
Assertiveness is about expressing your needs clearly while respecting other people’s. Being aggressive or confrontational can make people defensive. Use phrases like “I need,” “I feel,” or “I’d like” to communicate your message firmly but respectfully. People are more likely to listen when they don’t feel attacked.
7. Limit distractions when you speak.
If people are distracted by phones, TVs, or other interruptions, it’s harder for them to listen. Ask for their attention by saying, “Can we pause this for a second?” or finding a quieter space to talk. A focused environment increases the chances of being heard.
8. Listen actively first.
People are more likely to listen to you when they feel heard themselves. Show you’re listening by nodding, summarising their points, and asking questions. Active listening creates mutual respect, making everyone more inclined to give you the same courtesy.
9. Use confident body language.
Your posture and gestures can reinforce your message or undermine it. Stand or sit up straight, avoid crossing your arms, and keep your gestures open and relaxed. Confident body language signals that what you have to say matters, encouraging people to pay attention.
10. Make your message relatable.
People listen more closely when they can relate to what you’re saying. Connect your points to shared experiences or things that matter to them. Using examples or stories helps bridge the gap and makes your message more memorable and engaging.
11. Ask for feedback or input.
Ending your point with, “What do you think?” or “Does that make sense to you?” invites engagement. It shows that you value their thoughts and keeps them involved in the conversation. This interaction helps people stay invested in what you’re saying.
12. Know when to pause for effect.
Strategic pauses give people time to absorb what you’re saying. After making a key point, take a brief pause instead of rushing ahead. This makes your words more impactful and gives your listener a moment to process your message fully.
13. Stay calm, even when you’re frustrated.
Source: Unsplash Getting angry or raising your voice can make people tune out or shut down. If you feel frustration creeping in, take a deep breath and stay composed. A calm approach helps maintain respect and keeps the lines of communication open.
14. Be clear about what you want.
If you’re not clear about your needs or expectations, people might not understand how to respond. End with a straightforward request, like “I’d really appreciate your support on this” or “I need you to take this seriously.” Clarity reduces misunderstandings and makes it easier for people to meet you halfway.
