You’d love to have a deeper connection with your partner, but are you asking the right questions?
No matter how long you’ve been together, there are bound to be things you still don’t know about them. Continuing to learn about each other can bring you so much closer together, and not every new bit of knowledge needs to be deep and meaningful. Here are some things to ask your partner more often to glean a little more into their feelings, dreams, and personality. Your relationship will benefit from them!
1. What made you smile today?
Starting your evening by asking about the bright spots in your partner’s day creates a lovely ritual. It’s not just about the big moments — sometimes it’s the morning coffee, a friendly chat with a colleague, or a song on the radio that brightened their mood. Knowing these little joys helps you understand what makes them happy.
2. How can I make your day easier?
Source: Unsplash This question shows you care about their wellbeing and want to help shoulder their burdens. Maybe they need help with the shopping, a quiet hour to themselves, or just someone to listen. It’s amazing how much difference a little support can make to someone’s day.
3. What’s worrying you lately?
Source: Unsplash Sometimes we carry worries around without sharing them. This gentle question opens the door for your partner to share their concerns, whether they’re big or small. It gives them permission to be vulnerable and reminds them they don’t have to face their worries alone.
4. What would your perfect day look like?
Source: Unsplash Understanding your partner’s idea of a perfect day reveals so much about what truly matters to them. It might be a peaceful morning reading, an adventure outdoors, or simply spending time with family. This knowledge helps you create more moments they’ll treasure.
5. When do you feel most loved?
We all experience love differently. Your partner might feel most loved through physical affection, kind words, thoughtful gestures, or quality time together. Knowing this helps you show your love in ways that really resonate with them.
6. What’s the best part of our relationship?
Celebrating the good parts of your relationship strengthens your bond. Your partner might love your morning cuddles, your shared sense of humour, or how you always remember their favourite snacks. These conversations remind you both why you chose each other.
7. What makes you feel safe?
Safety isn’t just about physical protection — it’s about emotional security too. Understanding what makes your partner feel safe and secure helps you create an environment where they can truly be themselves.
8. How do you prefer handling disagreements?
Some people need space to process their thoughts, while others prefer talking things through right away. Knowing your partner’s conflict style helps prevent misunderstandings during tough moments and makes resolving disagreements easier.
9. What dreams haven’t you shared with me yet?
Source: Unsplash We all have dreams we keep quiet about, thinking they’re too big or silly. Creating space for your partner to share these dreams shows you care about their hopes and aspirations, no matter how big or small they might be.
10. What makes you feel appreciated?
Sometimes the smallest gestures can make someone feel truly valued. Maybe it’s a thank you note, a surprise cup of tea, or simply acknowledging their hard work. Understanding what makes your partner feel appreciated helps you show gratitude in meaningful ways.
11. How can we make more time for fun?
Daily responsibilities can overshadow the joy in relationships. Talking about ways to add more fun and playfulness keeps your connection fresh and exciting. It might be trying new restaurants, planning weekend adventures, or simply having a weekly game night.
12. What helps you relax after a tough day?
Knowing how to support your partner when they’re stressed is invaluable. Some people need quiet time, others want to talk things through, and some might need a distraction. Understanding their needs helps you provide the right kind of comfort.
13. What traditions would you like to create together?
Building your own traditions makes your relationship unique. Whether it’s Sunday morning pancakes, holiday rituals, or monthly date nights, these shared experiences become the foundation of your life together.
14. What makes you feel proud of yourself?
We all need someone to celebrate our achievements with. Asking about what makes your partner proud shows you care about their successes and want to celebrate their accomplishments, whether big or small.
15. How can we grow together this year?
Growth keeps relationships exciting and meaningful. This question opens discussions about shared goals, whether they’re about health, hobbies, travel, or personal development. It helps you align your future plans and support each other’s growth.
16. What’s been on your mind lately?
This simple question gives your partner space to share whatever’s important to them right now. It might be work challenges, family matters, or random thoughts they’ve been pondering. It shows you’re interested in their inner world and ready to listen without judgment.
