Raising kids on your own is tough, but finding love while doing so is even harder.
A lot of people are hesitant about the idea of getting into a relationship with someone who already has children. Maybe they think it would be too hard to integrate themselves into the kid’s life, or they worry about possible drama with the kid’s other parent. Whatever the case, you might find that your responses on dating apps are few and far between. Here’s how to change your luck.
1. Be upfront about your children in your profile.
Honesty is the best policy when it comes to online dating. Mention that you have children early on in your profile. Your transparency helps attract people who are open to dating someone with kids, and saves you time by filtering out those who aren’t. You don’t need to share every detail, but acknowledging your role as a parent sets the right expectations from the start.
2. Choose recent, authentic photos that show your personality.
Your profile picture is often the first thing potential matches see, so make it count. Use recent photos that accurately represent how you look now. Include a mix of shots — a clear headshot, a full-body picture, and maybe one showing you engaged in a hobby. While it’s fine to have a photo with your kids, make sure most photos are just of you. Remember, you’re trying to showcase yourself, not just your role as a parent.
3. Highlight your interests beyond parenting.
Source: Unsplash While being a parent is a huge part of your life, it’s not the only thing that defines you. Talk about your hobbies, passions, and interests outside of parenting. Do you love hiking? Are you a film buff? Do you have a secret talent for baking? Sharing these aspects of yourself makes your profile more engaging and gives potential matches more to connect with you about.
4. Be clear about what you’re looking for in a relationship.
Are you looking for a long-term partnership, or are you just looking to date casually? Be honest about your intentions. Clarity helps attract people who are on the same page as you. If you have specific deal-breakers or must-haves in a potential partner, it’s okay to mention these, too. Just be careful not to come across as too demanding or inflexible.
5. Show your sense of humour in your profile.
A little humour can go a long way in making your profile stand out. Don’t be afraid to inject some wit or playfulness into your bio. It could be a clever quip about juggling parenthood and dating, or a funny anecdote from your life. Humour can make you more approachable and give potential matches a glimpse of your personality.
6. Be selective about who you swipe right on.
As a single parent, your time is precious. Be discerning about who you match with. Read profiles carefully and look for people who seem compatible with your lifestyle and values. It’s better to have fewer, more promising matches than to spread yourself too thin trying to keep up with lots of conversations that may not go anywhere.
7. Respond promptly to messages when possible.
When you do match with someone, try to respond to their messages in a timely manner — it shows you’re interested and engaged. Of course, as a parent, you won’t always be able to reply immediately. If you’re going to be unavailable for a while, it’s okay to let your match know. Most people will understand and appreciate your honesty.
8. Be open about your schedule and availability.
Single parents often have complex schedules, juggling work, childcare, and personal time. Be upfront about your availability for chatting or going on dates. If you only have free time every other weekend, for example, it’s better to communicate that early on. This helps set realistic expectations and shows that you’re responsible and considerate.
9. Don’t feel pressured to introduce your kids right away.
While you should be honest about having children, you don’t need to rush into introducing them to someone you’re dating. Take your time to get to know a person before involving your kids. It’s okay to explain that you prefer to wait a while before making introductions. Most understanding partners will respect this boundary.
10. Use the ‘bio’ section to share a glimpse of your parenting style.
Source: Unsplash Without going into too much detail, you can give potential matches an idea of what kind of parent you are. Are you the fun, playful type? The structured, routine-oriented parent? This information can help attract people who align with your parenting philosophy and give insight into your values and lifestyle.
11. Consider mentioning your co-parenting situation if relevant.
If you have a positive co-parenting relationship with your ex, it might be worth mentioning. Doing so can reassure potential partners that there’s minimal drama in your life. However, if the situation is complicated or tense, it’s probably best to save that conversation for when you know someone better.
12. Don’t shy away from mentioning your achievements.
Balancing single parenthood with a career or personal goals is no small feat. Don’t be afraid to highlight your accomplishments, whether they’re professional achievements, personal milestones, or parenting wins. It shows that you’re ambitious and capable, which can be very attractive qualities.
13. Be open to dating other single parents.
Source: Unsplash While it’s not a must, dating another single parent can have its advantages. They’re likely to understand your schedule constraints and the complexities of balancing dating with parenting. Many dating apps allow you to filter for other single parents if this is something you’re interested in exploring.
14. Remember to prioritise self-care and don’t rush.
Source: Unsplash Online dating can sometimes feel like a second job, especially when you’re already juggling work and parenting. Remember to take breaks when you need them, and don’t feel pressured to respond to every message or go on dates if you’re not feeling it. Your well-being should always come first. The right person will understand and appreciate your need for balance.
