We all experience moments of self-doubt, but for some, insecurity can become a persistent thing that feels downright paralysing.
This insecurity can manifest in subtle daily habits that might not be immediately obvious but can affect a person’s life in some pretty major ways. Here are some of the habits insecure people have that make them feel even worse about themselves.
1. They constantly compare themselves to everyone around them (and always fall short).
Source: Unsplash Social media has amplified this tendency, but even without it, insecure people often find themselves sizing up against other people. Whether it’s looks, achievements, or possessions, this constant comparison fuels feelings of inadequacy and never being “good enough.” Remember, everyone’s journey is unique, and focusing on your own progress is far more rewarding than trying to measure up to someone else’s highlight reel.
2. They look for validation from outside sources.
Source: Unsplash Insecure people often crave approval and reassurance from anyone who will give it to them. They may fish for compliments, want constant reassurance in relationships, or tie their self-worth to external achievements like likes and followers. While it’s natural to want to be appreciated, relying solely on external validation can leave you feeling empty and dependent on other people’s opinions.
3. They avoid taking risks or stepping outside their comfort zone.
Fear of failure and rejection can hold insecure people back from pursuing their goals and dreams. They may stick to familiar routines and avoid new experiences, fearing judgment or criticism. However, growth and self-discovery often happen outside our comfort zones. Taking calculated risks can boost confidence and lead to unexpected opportunities.
4. They apologise excessively, even when they’ve done nothing wrong.
Source: Unsplash Insecure people may feel a constant need to apologise, even for minor inconveniences or things that aren’t their fault. This stems from a fear of upsetting people or being seen as a burden. While apologising is important when warranted, overdoing it can undermine your self-worth and make you appear less confident.
5. They struggle to accept compliments graciously.
Source: Unsplash When someone compliments an insecure person, they may deflect or downplay their achievements instead of simply saying “thank you.” This can stem from a belief that they don’t deserve the praise or a fear of appearing arrogant. Learning to accept compliments graciously is a small but significant step towards building self-confidence.
6. They have difficulty saying “no.”
Source: Unsplash Insecure people tend to put other people’s needs over their own, fearing conflict or rejection. They may agree to things they don’t want to do or take on more than they can handle, leading to resentment and burnout. Learning to set boundaries and prioritise your own well-being is crucial for healthy relationships and personal happiness.
7. They focus on their flaws and shortcomings.
Source: Unsplash Insecure people tend to magnify their flaws and minimise their strengths. They may dwell on past mistakes, criticise their appearance, or feel like they’re not good enough in various aspects of their lives. Shifting focus towards self-compassion and recognising your positive qualities can help build a more balanced and positive self-image.
8. They need constant reassurance in relationships.
Source: Unsplash Insecure people often crave constant affirmation and reassurance from their partners. They may become overly clingy, jealous, or suspicious, fearing abandonment or betrayal. While it’s normal to seek reassurance at times, excessive neediness can strain relationships and create a self-fulfilling prophecy.
9. They have difficulty making decisions.
Source: Unsplash Fear of making the wrong choice or facing potential criticism can paralyse insecure people with indecision. They may second-guess themselves, ask for excessive advice from people, or procrastinate on making even simple choices. Learning to trust your instincts and accept that not every decision will be perfect can empower you to move forward with confidence.
10. They overthink and catastrophise situations.
Source: Unsplash Insecure people often create worst-case scenarios in their minds, imagining all the ways things could go wrong. This can lead to anxiety, stress, and a sense of overwhelm. Practising mindfulness and challenging negative thought patterns can help you stay grounded in the present and avoid spiralling into unnecessary worry.
11. They struggle to speak up for themselves and assert their needs.
Source: Unsplash Fear of conflict or disapproval can make it difficult for insecure people to express their needs and opinions assertively. They may remain silent when they disagree, prioritise other people’s preferences, or avoid confrontation at all costs. Learning to communicate your needs clearly and respectfully is essential for healthy relationships and personal empowerment.
12. They try to control everything in their lives.
Source: Unsplash Insecurity often stems from a feeling of lack of control. To compensate, insecure people may try to micromanage every aspect of their lives, from their schedules to their relationships. This can lead to stress, exhaustion, and a sense of isolation. Learning to let go of the need for control and embrace the uncertainties of life can be liberating and promote a more peaceful mindset.
13. They constantly fish for compliments on social media.
Source: Unsplash Insecure people may use social media as a platform to seek validation and approval. They may carefully curate their online persona, obsess over likes and comments, or compare themselves to everyone else’s seemingly perfect lives. Remember, social media often showcases the highlight reel, not the full picture. Focusing on real-life connections and valuing your own worth beyond online validation can promote a healthier sense of self.
14. They take things personally and get easily offended.
Source: Unsplash Insecure people may interpret neutral comments or actions as personal attacks. They may feel easily hurt or offended, even when there was no intention to cause harm. This can stem from a heightened sensitivity to criticism and a fear of rejection. Learning to take things less personally and give people the benefit of the doubt can improve communication and reduce unnecessary conflict.
15. They fear being alone or rejected.
Source: Unsplash Insecurity can manifest as a deep-seated fear of being alone or unwanted. This can lead to staying in unhealthy relationships, compromising on personal values, or constantly trying to earn approval from other people. Cultivating self-love and building a strong sense of self-worth can help you feel secure in your own company and make healthier choices in relationships.
16. They have difficulty letting go of past hurts or grudges.
Source: Unsplash Insecure people may hold on to past hurts and grievances, replaying them in their minds and allowing them to poison their present. This can lead to bitterness, resentment, and an inability to move forward. Practising forgiveness, both for yourself and others, can be a powerful tool for healing and personal growth. It allows you to release the emotional baggage and create space for positive experiences in your life.
