Resentment is one of those emotions that can quietly creep in and completely change the way someone behaves.
It’s usually the result of unmet expectations, unresolved issues, or feeling unappreciated, and while it might not always be obvious, the signs are there if you know what to look for. Here are 13 behaviours that a person might display when they’re feeling resentful.
1. They stop putting in effort.
You can tell when someone starts holding back. Whether it’s at work, in their friendships, or with their partner, a resentful person might pull back on doing the little things they used to care about. They might leave you to handle the extra workload, skip out on plans, or just stop showing up in ways they used to. It’s their way of saying, “I’m not happy,” without actually saying it.
2. They make passive-aggressive comments.
Instead of being upfront about what’s bothering them, resentful people often resort to sly digs or sarcastic remarks. They might say things that sound like jokes but have an uncomfortable sting to them. These comments aren’t random—they’re their way of expressing anger or disappointment without risking a proper confrontation.
3. They avoid communication.
Someone who’s feeling resentful often shuts down when it comes to communication. They might avoid deeper discussions or give short, clipped responses that feel dismissive. It’s as if they’re building a wall, making it harder to connect with them or understand what’s going on.
4. They keep score.
Keeping a mental tally of every perceived wrong is a classic sign of resentment. In disagreements, they might suddenly bring up something from months (or years) ago as “proof” of unfair treatment. It’s not just about the present issue—it’s about the stack of unresolved frustrations they’ve been holding onto.
5. They withdraw emotionally.
If someone used to be warm and open but now feels cold or distant, resentment could be the reason. They might stop sharing their feelings, showing affection, or engaging emotionally. It’s not that they don’t care—it’s more likely they feel hurt and are putting up barriers to protect themselves.
6. They start criticising everything.
When resentment builds, even the smallest annoyances can feel unbearable. They might start nitpicking—complaining about the way you do things or pointing out flaws they never mentioned before. It’s not really about the dishes or the socks on the floor; it’s a way of venting their bigger frustrations.
7. They go silent.
The silent treatment isn’t just about ignoring someone—it’s a form of emotional withdrawal that leaves people guessing. Resentful people use it as a way to express displeasure without having to explain themselves. The tension it creates can make the whole situation feel unbearable.
8. They become overly sarcastic.
While they might have always had a sense of humour, sarcasm can take on a harsher tone when someone is feeling resentful. Their jokes might have a biting edge or feel loaded with hidden frustration. What seems playful at first can often leave people feeling uneasy or even hurt.
9. They start avoiding the source of their frustration.
If someone’s resentment is tied to a specific person, situation, or place, they’ll often start finding reasons to stay away. Whether it’s skipping family dinners or dodging a colleague, this avoidance might feel like self-protection, but it often leaves the underlying issue unresolved, allowing the resentment to grow.
10. They act uncharacteristically petty.
Resentful people might start doing little things to get back at the source of their frustration—like refusing to help out, making minor digs, or deliberately pointing out mistakes. It’s not always intentional, but these small acts of pettiness are often a way to express their frustration without addressing it directly.
11. They refuse to compromise.
Flexibility goes out the window when resentment is in play. During disagreements, they might refuse to compromise, insisting on their way even if it’s unreasonable. This stubbornness often comes from feeling like they’ve already given too much in the past and aren’t willing to budge anymore.
12. They hold back compliments or support.
Where they might have once been encouraging and supportive, resentment can make someone hold back on compliments or praise. It’s not necessarily about jealousy—it’s more that their own frustrations overshadow their ability to be happy for someone else.
13. They bottle things up.
On the surface, they might seem fine, but underneath, resentment is simmering. Instead of addressing their feelings, they keep everything tightly contained, letting it build over time. The problem is, bottled-up frustration doesn’t stay hidden forever—it often explodes at the worst possible moment.
