We’ve all known two-faced people who shower us with compliments to our faces, only to turn around and tear us down behind our backs.
It’s a frustrating and hurtful experience, but often these individuals reveal their true colours through subtle phrases and behaviours. By paying attention to their words and actions, we can protect ourselves from their toxic influence and avoid getting caught in their web of BS.
1. “I would never say anything bad about you.”
Source: Unsplash This seemingly innocent statement is often a red flag. People who are genuinely supportive and loyal wouldn’t feel the need to make such a declaration. It’s a way of deflecting suspicion and maintaining their facade of friendship while secretly harbouring negative feelings.
2. “I’m just concerned about you.”
This phrase can be a manipulative tactic used to disguise criticism or judgment as well-intentioned advice. They might express concern about your choices, your behaviour, or your relationships, but their underlying motive is often to undermine your confidence and assert their own superiority.
3. “Don’t tell anyone, but…”
This phrase is a classic sign of a gossip monger. They might share confidential information or negative opinions about people under the guise of secrecy, creating a sense of intimacy and trust. However, their true intention is often to spread rumours and sow discord.
4. “I’m your biggest fan.”
Source: Unsplash While genuine compliments are appreciated, excessive flattery can be a sign of insincerity. People who are overly effusive with their praise might be trying to manipulate you or gain your favour, only to turn around and criticise you behind your back.
5. “I’m just kidding!”
Source: Unsplash This phrase is often used to excuse hurtful comments or backhanded compliments. They might make a snide remark or a cutting observation, then quickly dismiss it as a joke when called out. This allows them to inflict pain while avoiding accountability.
6. “I’m not sure how to say this, but…”
Source: Unsplash This phrase is often a prelude to a thinly veiled insult or a critical remark disguised as constructive feedback. They might preface their negative opinions with this disclaimer to soften the blow, but their intention is still to hurt or undermine you.
7. “You know I’m always honest with you.”
Source: Unsplash This statement is often used to justify their hurtful comments or criticisms. They might claim to be brutally honest or “tell it like it is,” but their lack of tact and empathy can be damaging and destructive.
8. “I’m just trying to help you.”
Source: Unsplash This phrase is often used to disguise their own agenda or to control your behaviour. They might offer unsolicited advice, criticise your choices, or try to manipulate you into doing what they want under the guise of helping you.
9. “You’re too sensitive.”
Source: Unsplash This phrase is a common tactic used to dismiss your feelings and invalidate your reactions. They might accuse you of overreacting or being too emotional when you call them out on their hurtful behaviour, making you question your own perceptions and emotions.
10. “I’m just being honest.”
Source: Unsplash This phrase is often used to excuse rude or insensitive comments. They might believe that their honesty justifies their lack of tact and consideration for your feelings. However, true honesty can be expressed with kindness and empathy, without resorting to hurtful remarks.
11. “Bless your heart.”
Source: Unsplash This seemingly kind phrase can be a passive-aggressive way of expressing disapproval or condescension. It’s often used to imply that you’re naive, foolish, or misguided, while maintaining a veneer of politeness. It can be a subtle way of putting you down while appearing supportive.
12. “I’m worried about what this will do to your reputation.”
Source: Unsplash This phrase can be a manipulative tactic used to control your behaviour and make you conform to their expectations. They might express concern about how your actions or choices will be perceived by others, using this as a way to pressure you into making decisions that align with their own interests.
13. “I’m just saying this for your own good.”
Source: Unsplash This phrase is often used to justify unsolicited advice or criticism. They might offer their opinions on your life choices, your career, or your relationships, claiming to have your best interests at heart. However, their true motive is often to impose their own values and judgments upon you.
14. “I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
Source: Unsplash This phrase can be a manipulative way of discouraging you from pursuing your goals or taking risks. They might express concern about the potential negative consequences of your actions, using this as a way to keep you from stepping outside of your comfort zone or challenging their authority.
15. “I’m just looking out for you.”
Source: Unsplash This phrase can be a subtle way of asserting control and dominance. They might try to manage your life, your decisions, or your relationships, claiming to be acting in your best interests. However, their true motive is often to maintain their own power and influence over you.
16. “I’m not the only one who thinks this.”
Source: Unsplash This phrase is often used to bolster their own opinions and make you doubt your own judgment. They might claim that other people share their negative views of you, even if it’s not true, in an attempt to isolate you and undermine your confidence.
17. “You should be more careful about what you say/do.”
Source: Pexels This phrase can be a way of silencing your voice and suppressing your individuality. They might criticise your opinions, your behaviour, or your choices, making you feel self-conscious and afraid to express yourself authentically.
18. “I’m just being realistic.”
This phrase is often used to justify their negative outlook or to discourage you from pursuing your dreams. They might dismiss your ambitions as unrealistic or impractical, using this as a way to keep you from achieving your full potential.
19. “You’re lucky to have me as a friend.”
Source: Unsplash This phrase is a subtle form of emotional manipulation. They might remind you of their supposed loyalty and support, making you feel indebted to them and less likely to challenge their negative behaviour.
20. “I’m the only one who tells you the truth.”
This phrase is a way of isolating you from other perspectives and making you dependent on their opinions. They might claim that everyone else is lying to you or misleading you, positioning themselves as the only source of truth and honesty in your life.
