If you grew up feeling unattractive — and being told as much by your peers — it no doubt took its toll on you.
While chances are, there was absolutely nothing wrong with you, and you were fine just as you were, constantly feeling like the ugly duckling changes who you are as a person and the personality you develop. Those who experienced this reality in their younger years tend to have these qualities, no matter how many years have passed, and how conventionally attractive they are now.
1. They develop a strong sense of empathy.
People who grow up feeling like outsiders often become incredibly empathetic. They’ve been in the position of feeling left out, so they’re more attuned to other people’s feelings. This ability to understand and connect with people often leads to deeper, more meaningful relationships because they genuinely care about how people feel.
2. They build a rich and creative inner world.
Without the social distractions that siblings or friends might have, many ‘ugly ducklings’ turn inward and develop rich imaginations. They grow up finding joy in reading, creating stories, or daydreaming. This creativity often stays with them into adulthood, giving them a unique perspective on problem-solving or just making life more colourful.
3. They learn to value substance over appearance.
When you’ve been judged solely on your appearance, you start realising that what’s on the inside counts more. People who’ve felt unattractive tend to focus more on character traits like kindness and integrity. They don’t get hung up on appearances — theirs or anyone else’s — and are drawn to deeper, more authentic connections.
4. They become resilient.
Dealing with constant judgement and feeling out of place makes people tough. They learn how to handle rejection, bounce back from criticism, and keep moving forward despite the odds. This resilience serves them well as they navigate the challenges of adulthood, whether it’s in relationships, careers, or personal growth.
5. They develop a unique sense of humour.
Source: Unsplash Humour often becomes a tool to deal with the challenges of growing up feeling unattractive. Many ‘ugly ducklings’ develop a witty, sometimes self-deprecating sense of humour as a way to connect with people or deflect negativity. Over time, this humour helps them bond with people and navigate life with a bit more ease.
6. They become more self-aware.
Source: Unsplash Constantly reflecting on their place in social situations makes these individuals more self-aware. They become skilled at understanding their emotions, actions, and motivations. This self-reflection often translates into better emotional regulation and a clearer sense of what they need from their relationships.
7. They learn to appreciate personal growth.
Source: Unsplash People who had an ‘ugly duckling’ phase often embrace the idea of transformation. They’ve seen first-hand how things can change over time, so they’re more open to self-improvement. This leads them to continually work on themselves, whether it’s learning new skills, improving their mental health, or growing in relationships.
8. They stand out with their individuality.
Source: Unsplash Not fitting in during their younger years forces ‘ugly ducklings’ to embrace what makes them different. Rather than conforming, they develop a strong sense of self, whether that’s through a quirky personal style, unique hobbies, or simply standing firm in who they are. This individuality often becomes a point of pride in adulthood.
9. They’re great listeners.
Source: Unsplash Having been overlooked or ignored growing up, many former ‘ugly ducklings’ become excellent listeners. They know how it feels not to be heard, so they make an extra effort to give people their full attention. This makes them great friends and partners, as people appreciate how understood and valued they feel in their presence.
10. They explore a wide range of interests.
Source: Unsplash Growing up without a strong social circle often leads these individuals to dive into various hobbies and interests. From learning instruments to developing obscure passions, their curiosity leads them to pick up a broad skill set. These eclectic interests make them interesting people to talk to and add richness to their lives.
11. They build emotional intelligence.
Source: Unsplash Constantly navigating tricky social dynamics growing up sharpens emotional intelligence. They become pros at reading body language, understanding unspoken tensions, and managing their own feelings in difficult situations. This skill is invaluable in both personal and professional settings, helping them build stronger connections and resolve conflicts smoothly.
12. They root for the underdog.
Having been in the position of being overlooked or underestimated, they often develop a strong sense of justice. They’re likely to stand up for people who are marginalised, and they might even find themselves drawn to careers or volunteer opportunities that allow them to advocate for the underdog.
13. They focus on inner beauty.
Source: Unsplash People who’ve struggled with their appearance often place a higher value on qualities like kindness, compassion, and intelligence. They understand that true beauty goes far beyond physical looks and are more likely to seek out relationships based on mutual respect, understanding, and shared values.
14. They embrace self-reinvention.
Source: Unsplash Having gone through a significant personal transformation themselves, many ‘ugly ducklings’ are open to change and self-reinvention. They don’t shy away from new opportunities or challenges, knowing that change is possible. This mindset helps them continually evolve, whether it’s trying out a new career, moving to a different city, or simply adopting a new outlook on life.
