Life doesn’t always go the way we’d like, but some people just can’t wrap their heads around that.
They think that just because they want something, they should get it. After all, they’re decent people, so why shouldn’t things always go their way? It’s unrealistic, but that’s the way their brains work. Here are some phrases you’ll often hear from the people who refuse to accept the fact that life’s not fair.
1. “It’s just not fair!”
When things don’t go their way, this is often the first thing they’ll say. There’s a strong sense of injustice behind these words, almost as if the world owes them a fair shake every time. They might genuinely believe that fairness is something they can expect from life, which makes every setback feel like a betrayal. It’s a tough mindset to have, as it rarely brings peace. Accepting that life isn’t always fair can be a big relief.
2. “Why does this always happen to me?”
With every inconvenience or setback, some people feel singled out, as if they’re carrying an extra burden the rest of us aren’t. It’s easy to get caught up in that feeling, especially when things go wrong repeatedly. But seeing yourself as the universe’s target can make life feel unnecessarily heavy. Recognising that bad luck happens to everyone can bring a bit of perspective. It’s a reminder that they’re not alone in facing life’s random challenges.
3. “People just don’t get what they deserve.”
Whether it’s seeing someone else succeed or someone get off easy, some people are laser-focused on the idea of “deserving.” They want to believe that life hands out rewards and punishments in perfect measure. But life doesn’t always follow a clear system of justice, and people don’t always get what they “deserve.” Letting go of that expectation can make it easier to roll with the punches. It’s a shift that can make disappointments feel less personal.
4. “If only things were different…”
This phrase can be a big clue that someone’s holding on to a “what if” view of the world. They’re imagining a different reality where things always go as planned and everyone gets a fair shot. While it’s natural to think this way now and then, constantly wishing for a different version of life keeps them stuck. Realising that “if only” won’t change anything can help them focus on what’s actually possible. It’s about making peace with where things are right now.
5. “Why can’t things just go right for once?”
After a string of bad luck, it’s easy to feel like you’re owed a break. But life’s ups and downs don’t always follow a pattern, and expecting things to suddenly turn around can lead to frustration. People who hold on to this idea often find themselves feeling more disappointed. Accepting the unpredictability of life can bring a little more ease. It’s a reminder that good and bad moments come and go on their own schedule.
6. “They don’t deserve that success.”
Seeing other people succeed can sometimes bring up feelings of resentment, especially if someone feels they’ve worked just as hard or even harder. But measuring success in terms of who “deserves” what rarely brings any satisfaction. They’re not considering the whole story, and life doesn’t always reward people based on effort alone. Finding peace with other people’s success can help shift their focus back to their own journey. It’s about recognising that everyone’s path is different.
7. “It should have been me.”
For some, watching other people get opportunities or recognition feels like a missed chance that was rightfully theirs. This line of thinking can make it hard to appreciate what other people have achieved and adds a layer of bitterness to every win they see. Believing that life “should” work a certain way keeps them from enjoying their own progress. Letting go of “should” helps them appreciate what’s truly theirs. It’s about finding happiness in their own accomplishments.
8. “Nothing ever goes my way.”
When setbacks pile up, it’s easy to feel like life has it out for you, but holding on to that belief can make things feel worse than they are. People who say this are usually focusing only on the negatives, ignoring any small wins along the way. Noticing even the smallest positives can make life feel a bit more balanced. It’s a way to shift focus from what’s missing to what’s actually there. A little perspective can go a long way in breaking this cycle.
9. “Life isn’t supposed to be this hard.”
There’s often an underlying expectation that life should be easy or at least easier than it is. When challenges arise, some people see them as proof that something’s wrong with their lives. But life doesn’t come with a rulebook saying how hard or easy it should be. Accepting the reality of challenges can make tough times feel less isolating. It’s part of embracing the highs and lows that come with being human.
10. “It’s like the world’s against me.”
For those who think life’s unfair, setbacks can feel like personal attacks. They see challenges as more than random events—they feel targeted. This perspective can be exhausting, as it turns every bump into a personal struggle. Realising that challenges are often just part of life, not a plot against them, can bring some relief. It’s a reminder that they’re not alone in facing ups and downs.
11. “I deserve better.”
This feeling of “deserving” more can leave people constantly unsatisfied with what they have. It’s one thing to know your worth, but expecting life to meet those expectations every time is a fast track to disappointment. Life doesn’t always work on the basis of who “deserves” what. Finding ways to create meaning in what they do have can make life feel fuller. It’s a shift from focusing on what’s missing to appreciating what’s present.
12. “They had it handed to them.”
When someone’s struggling, it’s tempting to believe other people got their success without effort. But life’s stories are rarely that simple, and everyone faces their own challenges. Assuming other people haven’t worked for their success just adds bitterness to the mix. Recognising that everyone’s path is different helps remove that resentment. It’s a reminder that appearances don’t tell the whole story.
13. “Why even try if it’s all luck?”
Some people get stuck believing that luck is the only factor that matters, so they feel there’s no point in trying. This mindset keeps them from making the effort that could lead to something good. But luck and effort often go hand in hand, and giving up ensures nothing will change. Trying despite the odds brings a sense of purpose. It’s about finding power in effort, even if luck plays a part.
14. “I guess it’s just not meant to be.”
When things don’t work out, falling back on “it’s not meant to be” can feel comforting, but it can also be a way of avoiding effort. While some things aren’t in our control, deciding it’s “not meant to be” without trying can close doors too early. Exploring possibilities can bring new opportunities, even if things don’t go exactly as planned. Life’s often more about trying than knowing in advance.
