Some people come off like the most generous human beings on the planet.
However, their overly giving nature is a facade, usually concealing some pretty selfish behaviours that you wouldn’t necessarily notice at first. However, once you dig a bit deeper, you realise how self-centred they really are. Here are some things these fake generous people tend to do.
1. They make a big show of giving.
These people love an audience when they’re being “generous”. They’re not happy unless everyone knows about their good deed. They’ll post about their charity work on social media, loudly announce their donations, or make sure everyone hears about how they helped old Mrs. Johnson cross the street. It’s not about the act of giving for them — it’s about the applause. They’re collecting good karma points like they’re trying to win a cosmic lottery.
2. They keep score of their generosity.
For people like this, generosity is a transaction, not a gift. They’ve got a mental tally of every favour they’ve ever done, and they’re not afraid to whip it out when they need something. “Remember when I helped you move house? Well, now I need…” They store up all these good deeds so that they can call in favours in the future (and make you feel bad about it if you don’t do their bidding).
3. They’re generous with strings attached.
When they offer help, it’s rarely unconditional. There’s always a catch, a favour to be returned, or some sort of payback expected. On the surface, it seems like they’re being kind and generous, but there’s a hidden agenda inside. You end up feeling like you’ve signed a contract you didn’t read properly, and now you’re on the hook for who knows what.
4. They’re only generous when it’s convenient.
They’re all about grand gestures when it’s easy for them, but when the going gets tough, they’re nowhere to be found. They’ll happily buy a round of drinks at the pub, but ask them to help you move house on their day off? Suddenly, they’ve got a mysterious ailment or an unmissable appointment. Their generosity has a schedule, and it always seems to line up with what’s most convenient for them.
5. They use generosity as a form of control.
Source: Unsplash For these people, generosity is a power move. They use their “kindness” to manipulate situations and people. By being overly generous, they create a sense of obligation in others. They might pay for everything on a night out, but then they expect to call the shots about where you go and what you do. Their generosity is less about giving and more about gaining the upper hand.
6. They’re generous to impress, not to help.
They treat generosity like it’s a popularity contest. They’re not interested in what you actually need — they’re all about what looks most impressive. They might buy you an expensive gift you can’t use instead of helping with something you really need. It’s all about the wow factor, not the actual impact. They’re playing to the crowd, not to your genuine needs.
7. They’re generous with other people’s resources.
Here’s a classic move: they’re super generous… with stuff that isn’t theirs. They’ll volunteer you for tasks, offer up your time or skills, or even give away your possessions without asking. “Oh, I told Bob you’d be happy to help him move house this weekend!” or “I said you’d lend Sarah your car while hers is in the shop!” They’re earning brownie points on your dime, and that’s not okay.
8. They use their generosity as a get-out-of-jail-free card.
For them, past generosity is like a stockpile of good behaviour credits they can cash in when they mess up. They’ll do something awful, then remind you of all the times they’ve been “generous” to you, as if that cancels out their bad behaviour. It’s like they think being nice sometimes gives them a free pass to be a jerk at other times. Little do they realise, they still have to be accountable for their actions.
9. They’re generous in public, stingy in private.
These people are all about the public image, so they’ll make grand gestures when other people are watching, but in private, it’s a different story. They might make a big donation at a charity event, but then skimp on tipping the waiter when it’s just the two of you at dinner. It’s like they’re putting on a show of generosity for the world, but behind the scenes, they’re counting every penny. They’re more interested in the appearance of generosity than the actual practice of it.
10. They use generosity as a conversation starter… about themselves.
Acts of generosity are just launching pads for their favourite topic: themselves. They’ll do something nice, then spend the next hour talking about how nice they are. “Did I ever tell you about the time I volunteered at the animal shelter?” becomes a 45-minute monologue about their saintly qualities. Their generosity is less about giving and more about generating material for their own personal PR campaign.
11. They’re generous with advice, stingy with actual help.
These people are full of suggestions about how you should solve your problems, but when it comes to rolling up their sleeves and actually helping, they’re suddenly busy. They’ll give you an earful about how you should handle a situation, but ask them to lend a hand and watch them disappear. They clearly think their words are pure gold and should be enough. They’re generous with their opinions, but when it comes to time, effort, or resources, suddenly, they’re incredibly tight.
12. They use generosity as a way to show off.
Being generous is just another way for them to flex. They’ll buy expensive gifts not because it’s what you want, but because it shows how much they can spend. They’ll offer to help you with something, then spend the whole time talking about how great they are at it. It’s like they’re turning generosity into a competitive sport, and they’re determined to win. Their acts of kindness come with a side of “Look how awesome I am!” that’s hard to stomach.
13. They’re generous now, but expect payback with interest.
They’ll help you out, but they expect to be paid back double. Give them a hand today, and they’ll expect both of yours tomorrow. They’ll remind you of that one time they did you a favour years ago, acting like you’ve signed up for a lifetime subscription to their help requests. If you don’t agree to do what they ask of you, be prepared to face their wrath!
14. They’re generous with guilt trips.
They’ll do something nice, then hold it over your head forever. “After all I’ve done for you…” becomes their battle cry. They’ll emotionally manipulate you by trying to make you feel guilty about all the times they’ve supposedly gone out of their way for you, even when you never asked them to, or they claimed to be doing so because they really wanted to.
15. They’re generous when it aligns with their interests.
They have an uncanny knack for being generous in ways that benefit them, too. They’ll offer to help you move, but only because they want first dibs on the stuff you’re getting rid of. They’ll volunteer for a charity event, but it’s the one where all the bigwigs from work will be present. Their kindness always seems to have a convenient side effect that works in their favour.
