Everyone’s journey in love is different, of course.
However, if you’re starting to dip your toes into the dating pool with the hopes of finding something lasting, there are a few common pitfalls to watch out for. Here are some of the biggest mistakes people who have zero long-term relationship experience often make in dating.
1. They put their potential partner on a pedestal.
Source: Unsplash It’s easy to get swept up in the excitement of a new connection and start idealising your date. You might overlook red flags or ignore incompatibilities because you’re so focused on the good qualities. Remember, no one is perfect, and it’s important to see your potential partner realistically, flaws and all.
2. They move too fast.
When you’re eager to find love, it’s tempting to rush into things. You might start planning your future together after just a few dates, or declare your love prematurely. But taking things slow allows you to get to know each other at a comfortable pace and build a strong foundation for a lasting relationship.
3. They overshare personal information too soon.
While vulnerability is important in a relationship, it’s best to build trust gradually. Oversharing personal details too early can be overwhelming for your date and create an imbalance in the relationship. Let the connection develop naturally, and share deeper aspects of yourself as you become more comfortable with each other.
4. They neglect their own needs and interests.
Source: Unsplash When you’re caught up in the excitement of a new relationship, it’s easy to neglect your own needs and interests. You might cancel plans with friends, skip your favourite hobbies, or put your own goals on hold. But maintaining your independence and pursuing your own passions is crucial for a healthy relationship. Don’t lose sight of who you are outside of the relationship.
5. They try too hard to impress their date.
It’s natural to want to make a good impression, but don’t try to be someone you’re not. Be genuine, be yourself, and let your true personality shine. Pretending to be someone you’re not is exhausting and unsustainable. The right person will appreciate you for who you are, flaws and all.
6. They ignore red flags or warning signs.
Source: Unsplash Love can be blind, but it’s important to pay attention to red flags or warning signs that might indicate incompatibility or potential problems down the road. Don’t ignore gut feelings or dismiss concerns just because you’re excited about the relationship. Trust your instincts and be honest with yourself about what you want and need in a partner.
7. They become overly attached or clingy.
Source: Unsplash It’s important to give your date space and allow the relationship to develop naturally. Avoid bombarding them with texts, calls, or demands for constant attention. Clingy behaviour can be suffocating and push people away. Give them space to miss you and appreciate your presence.
8. They have unrealistic expectations.
Source: Unsplash No relationship is perfect, and every couple faces challenges along the way. Don’t expect your partner to be flawless or to fulfil all your needs. Be realistic about what you can expect from a relationship, and be willing to work through challenges together. Remember, a healthy relationship is built on mutual respect, compromise, and understanding, not unrealistic expectations.
9. They play games or manipulate their partner.
Source: Unsplash Honesty and transparency are crucial for building trust in a relationship. Avoid playing mind games, manipulating your partner, or trying to make them jealous. These tactics might seem like a way to gain control or test their feelings, but they ultimately destroy trust and create insecurity. Be upfront about your intentions and communicate openly and honestly.
10. They avoid difficult conversations or conflict.
Source: Unsplash Disagreements and conflicts are inevitable in any relationship. Don’t avoid difficult conversations or sweep issues under the rug. Address concerns openly and honestly, and work together to find solutions. Avoiding conflict can lead to resentment and unresolved issues, which can ultimately damage the relationship.
11. They put their own needs last.
Source: Unsplash While compromise is important, don’t neglect your own needs and desires in the relationship. It’s essential to maintain a sense of self and put your mental and emotional health first. Don’t be afraid to express your needs and set boundaries. A healthy relationship involves mutual respect and consideration for both partners’ needs.
12. They rely on their partner for their happiness.
Source: Unsplash While it’s natural to want to share your happiness with your partner, don’t rely on them to be your sole source of joy and fulfilment. Cultivate your own interests, hobbies, and social connections. A healthy relationship involves two independent individuals who support and complement each other, not two people who are completely dependent on each other for their happiness.
13. They give up too easily when faced with challenges.
Every relationship faces challenges, from disagreements to external stressors. Don’t give up on the relationship at the first sign of trouble. Be willing to work through challenges, communicate openly, and get help if needed. Remember, a strong relationship is built on resilience, commitment, and a willingness to overcome obstacles together.
14. They focus on the past instead of the present.
Source: Unsplash If you’re carrying baggage from past relationships, it can be difficult to fully embrace a new connection. Don’t let past hurts or disappointments cloud your judgment or prevent you from opening up to new possibilities. Focus on the present moment and the person in front of you. Give them a fair chance and don’t let your past dictate your future.
15. They don’t prioritise emotional intimacy.
Source: Unsplash Emotional intimacy is the glue that holds a relationship together. It’s about sharing your thoughts, feelings, dreams, and fears with your partner. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and open up to your date. Building emotional intimacy takes time and effort, but it’s essential for a deep and meaningful connection.
