Have you ever sat with your elderly parents and thought, “There’s so much I don’t know about you”?
It makes sense — we spend so much of our lives as their child, and there are certain things our mum and dad don’t share with us. Sometimes it’s because they want to protect us, and other times it’s just because they don’t think we’ll care. However, our parents are usually fascinating people with so many interesting stories to share. Here are some questions to ask them while they’re still around to answer.
1. What was home like when you were a kid?
Get your parents talking about where they grew up — not just the house itself, but all the little things that made it home. Ask them about the creaky floorboard they tried to avoid when sneaking in late, or the neighbour who always baked too many cookies. Maybe there was a special hiding spot in the garden, or a window seat where they’d sit and daydream. These tiny details often spark the best stories and help you picture them as kids, running around and getting into mischief, just like we all did.
2. What were Gran and Grandad really like?
Sure, you might know the basics about your grandparents, but what about the stuff that never made it into the family stories? Ask your parents about their parents’ silly habits, what made them belly-laugh, or how they acted when no one else was around. Maybe your gran had a secret recipe she refused to share, or your grandad would sing badly in the shower every morning. These little details paint a much more colourful picture of the people who helped shape your own parents.
3. When did your life take a surprise turn?
Life’s got a funny way of throwing curveballs that end up changing everything. Ask your parents about those unexpected moments — maybe they took a random job that led them to meet their best friend, or got lost and stumbled upon their favourite place in the world. These aren’t usually the stories that come up at family dinners, but they’re often the ones that shaped their path in the biggest ways. Plus, it’s pretty cool to hear about how your parents handled life’s surprises before they became “Mum and Dad”.
4. Any big regrets or do-overs?
Nobody likes dwelling on mistakes, but sometimes our parents’ “I wish I had…” stories can be real eye-openers. Maybe they wish they’d learned to play that instrument, taken that trip, or told someone how they really felt. It’s not about making them feel bad — it’s about understanding what they’ve learned along the way. Sometimes hearing about their regrets might even give us the nudge we need to take that chance they wish they’d taken.
5. How did you two end up together?
The story of how your parents got together is probably way more interesting than you think. Was it love at first sight, or did they start out not being able to stand each other? Get them to spill the details about their awkward first date, or who made the first move. Even if they’re not together anymore, these stories are part of your history too. Plus, you might pick up some pretty entertaining dating stories from back in the day — when people couldn’t just swipe right!
6. What wild dreams did you have?
Before mortgages and packed lunches became their daily routine, your parents probably had some pretty big dreams. Maybe Mum secretly wanted to be a rock star, or Dad thought about opening a beach bar somewhere tropical. Getting them talking about their younger hopes and dreams shows you a whole different side of them. Sometimes these chats can be eye-opening — like finding out your super-serious dad once wanted to join the circus!
7. What keeps you smiling these days?
Sometimes we get so caught up checking if our parents are eating well or taking their meds that we forget to ask about the good stuff. What makes them crack up laughing when they’re watching TV? Which of their friends still makes them giggle like teenagers? Maybe they’ve discovered a new hobby that lights them up, or there’s a special part of their daily routine they look forward to. Understanding what brings them joy now, not just in the past, helps keep your chats in the present too.
8. Got any family secrets to spill?
Every family’s got those stories that only come out after a few cups of tea (or something stronger!). Maybe there’s a mysterious great-aunt nobody talks about, or a family recipe that’s been kept under wraps for generations. This isn’t about digging up dirt — it’s about understanding those unspoken family stories that might explain why certain topics are off-limits at Christmas dinner. Plus, you might finally find out why your grandparents suddenly moved towns that one time!
9. What would you tell your younger self?
This question usually brings out gems of wisdom wrapped in funny stories. Maybe they’d tell their 20-year-old self to stop wearing that awful haircut, or that the person they were crying over wasn’t worth the tissues. It’s fascinating to hear what advice they’d give themselves with all the knowledge they have now. Sometimes their answers might surprise you — and they might even have some pretty spot-on advice for whatever you’re going through right now.
10. What’s your proudest moment?
We often know about the obvious wins in our parents’ lives — their career achievements or the number of grandkids they have. But ask about their proudest moments, and you might hear totally different stories. Maybe it’s about the time they stood up for someone when nobody else would, or how they managed to stay positive through a really tough year. These stories often show you what they value most, beyond the usual milestones. And sometimes, their proudest moments might even be things you never knew they did for you.
