Cheating isn’t always as black and white as people think.
While most people agree that physical infidelity is crossing the line, emotional connections, flirty behaviours, and even social media interactions can stir up some serious debate. What one person sees as harmless fun, another might consider a full-blown betrayal. Every relationship has its own boundaries, and when those aren’t clear, things can get messy fast. Here are a few of the behaviours that don’t fly in a relationship and that some people consider cheating, even if others don’t.
1. Flirting with someone else
Some people see flirting as completely innocent, while others think it’s a slippery slope. Complimenting someone, teasing in a playful way, or being overly charming can blur the lines between being friendly and being too friendly. If your partner wouldn’t be comfortable seeing the conversation, it’s worth asking yourself why. Some harmless banter is fine, but if it’s crossing into attraction territory, it could be a red flag.
2. Keeping your dating apps “just in case”
Swiping through dating apps even after committing to someone can feel like a safety net, but for many, it’s a huge breach of trust. Even if you’re not actually talking to anyone, the fact that you’re still browsing potential matches can feel like keeping one foot out the door. For most couples, deleting dating apps is a simple way to show commitment. If you’re hesitant to do so, it might be time to ask yourself why.
3. Developing an emotional connection with someone else
Emotional cheating can be just as painful as physical cheating, if not worse. If you’re sharing deep personal thoughts, leaning on someone else for emotional support, or confiding in them more than your partner, it can create a bond that crosses a line. It’s one thing to have friends, but if you’re turning to someone else instead of your partner for emotional intimacy, it can weaken your connection and create distance in your relationship.
4. Keeping secrets about who you’re talking to
Being secretive about your conversations by hiding texts, deleting messages, or being vague about who you’re chatting with can feel just as bad as actual cheating to some people. Even if nothing inappropriate is happening, secrecy creates suspicion. If you wouldn’t feel comfortable showing your partner your messages, that’s usually a sign that something’s off.
5. Having a “work spouse”
Spending lots of time with a colleague, having inside jokes, and relying on them for support throughout the day can be completely innocent. But when that bond starts to look a little too close, things can get complicated. If you’re prioritising your work partner over your actual partner, or if your connection starts to mimic that of a romantic relationship, your real relationship could start to suffer.
6. Keeping an ex in the picture
Staying friendly with an ex isn’t necessarily a problem, but some people see it as a major issue, especially if there’s still an emotional connection or history of unresolved feelings. Regularly texting an ex, reminiscing about your past together, or going to them for advice can feel like betrayal to your current partner. It’s important to ask yourself whether the relationship is truly platonic or if it’s keeping old emotions alive.
7. Complimenting other people in a flirty way
There’s a big difference between a casual compliment and one that feels flirtatious. Telling a friend they look nice is one thing; commenting on how attractive or hot someone is can hit differently. Some people don’t mind, but for others, hearing their partner complimenting someone in a way that feels too affectionate can feel like emotional disloyalty.
8. Following thirst traps on social media
Liking or commenting on revealing photos, following influencers who post suggestive content, or engaging with certain accounts can make some partners feel uneasy. It might seem harmless, but if your partner feels disrespected, it’s worth considering their feelings. Social media habits may seem like small things, but they can lead to bigger trust issues if they create tension or make someone feel like they’re being compared to strangers online.
9. Talking about your relationship issues with someone else
It’s normal to vent sometimes, but constantly sharing your relationship struggles with someone outside of the relationship, especially someone who could be a potential romantic interest, can be a form of emotional cheating. If you’re opening up to someone else more than your partner and looking for emotional validation from them, it can create a bond that weakens your actual relationship.
10. Downplaying your relationship status
If you find yourself acting single when you’re in a relationship—avoiding mentioning your partner, not wearing your wedding ring, or giving vague answers about your relationship—it can come across as misleading. Being proud of your relationship isn’t about constantly announcing it to the world, but if you’re intentionally keeping it low-key in certain situations, it’s worth questioning why.
11. Holding onto a backup person
Some people keep an old flame or a potential future partner in their life just in case things don’t work out. They may not intend to cheat, but keeping that person in their back pocket can still feel like betrayal. It’s a sign that there’s a lack of full commitment to the relationship. If you truly see a future with your partner, there’s no reason to keep a backup plan.
12. Going out of your way to impress someone else
Dressing up a little extra, seeking validation, or trying to get someone else’s attention—these little habits may not seem like a big deal, but they can easily cross the line. If your partner noticed your effort, and it made them feel uncomfortable, would you still think it’s harmless? The intention behind the action matters more than the action itself.
13. Prioritising someone else over your partner
If you consistently put someone else’s needs, time, or feelings above your partner’s, it can feel like a betrayal, even if nothing romantic is going on. Emotional investment matters just as much as physical actions. Healthy relationships require balance, and if someone outside your relationship is taking priority in a way that makes your partner feel second place, it can cause problems.
14. Engaging in overly intimate conversations
Having deep, meaningful conversations with friends is normal, but when those talks start getting a little too personal—discussing attraction, what-ifs, or relationship dissatisfaction—it can be seen as emotional cheating. If you wouldn’t be comfortable having that conversation in front of your partner, that’s usually a sign it’s crossing a line. Emotional boundaries matter just as much as physical ones.
