Autism is often associated with certain stereotypes—ones that don’t always align with how autistic people, and women in particular, experience and express themselves.
Because of these outdated ideas, women with autism are regularly overlooked, misunderstood, or misdiagnosed. Their struggles can be hidden behind social expectations, masking behaviours, or even cultural biases. But why does this happen? Here are just a few reasons, though they obviously differ for everyone.
1. They excel at masking their traits.
Many autistic women have learned to “mask” their behaviours to fit into social expectations. This might mean mimicking the people around them, suppressing stims (self-stimulating behaviour), or forcing themselves into small talk. While masking helps them blend in, it often leads to their struggles being overlooked or dismissed. Over time, this can become exhausting and emotionally draining.
2. Autism research has historically focused on men.
For years, autism studies were primarily conducted on boys and men, creating diagnostic criteria based on their experiences. That means the way autism presents in women—often more subtly—isn’t fully accounted for, leaving many undiagnosed or misunderstood. Women have had to navigate a system that wasn’t built with them in mind.
3. They’re misdiagnosed with other conditions.
Instead of recognising autism, many women are misdiagnosed with conditions like anxiety, depression, or borderline personality disorder. While these may overlap with autism, they don’t address the root cause. Getting a misdiagnosis often delays proper support and understanding for autistic women.
4. They’re often seen as “too social” to be autistic.
The stereotype of autism involves trouble with social interaction, but many autistic women are highly social—or appear to be. They may overcompensate by being overly friendly or chatty to mask their struggles, leading people to overlook their challenges with deeper connections.
5. They’re labelled as shy or introverted instead.
When autistic women struggle with social situations, they’re often written off as being simply shy or introverted. The label can prevent people from looking deeper into their experiences and understanding the reasons behind their discomfort in certain environments.
6. Their stims are less obvious.
Autistic women often stim in more socially acceptable ways, such as twirling hair, tapping fingers, or doodling. These behaviours don’t fit the stereotypical image of stimming, so they go unnoticed. Subtle stims can be calming, but also a way to cope with overwhelming situations.
7. Emotional regulation challenges are misunderstood.
Autistic women may experience intense emotions, but struggle to express or regulate them. This can be mistaken for mood swings, sensitivity, or even drama. In reality, these emotional challenges are often linked to their autism and how they process the world.
8. They’re often perfectionists.
Many autistic women channel their energy into being the best at whatever they do, whether it’s work, school, or relationships. Their perfectionism can mask their struggles, as people assume they have everything under control. Beneath the surface, though, this drive can be stressful and overwhelming.
9. Their special interests are overlooked.
Source: Unsplash Special interests in autistic women may appear more typical or socially acceptable, like fashion, music, or literature. These interests don’t always fit the stereotype of “niche” hobbies like trains or computers, so they’re less likely to be recognised as an autistic trait.
10. They’re better at mimicking social cues.
Source: Unsplash Autistic women often study social interactions closely, learning how to mimic gestures, tone, and expressions to fit in. “Social scripting” can make them seem neurotypical on the surface, even if they’re struggling internally. Unfortunately, this skill often leads to their autism being overlooked.
11. Sensory issues are dismissed as quirks.
Source: Unsplash Sensitivity to light, sound, or textures is often brushed off as being picky or overly sensitive. For autistic women, these sensory issues are a significant part of their experience, but they’re rarely recognised as a sign of autism. Sadly, it’s a dismissal that can make it harder for them to advocate for their needs.
12. They’re expected to meet traditional gender roles.
Society often expects women to be nurturing, socially adept, and emotionally expressive—all things autistic women may find challenging. These pressures can cause them to mask their struggles even more, making it harder for other people to see the reality of their experiences.
13. They’re seen as high-functioning without support.
Because autistic women often manage to hold down jobs, maintain relationships, or meet societal expectations, they’re seen as “fine.” But functioning doesn’t mean thriving, and many struggle silently while appearing to have it all together. This misconception prevents them from getting the support they need.
14. They’re rarely encouraged to explore a diagnosis.
Since autism isn’t as widely associated with women, they’re less likely to be encouraged to try to get an assessment. Friends, family, and even professionals might dismiss their struggles or attribute them to something else entirely. The lack of awareness leaves many women navigating life without the understanding a diagnosis can bring.
