No one likes talking to someone who never seems to come up for air in a conversation.
If you’re worried you might be that person, here are some signs to watch out for. Remember, communication is a two-way street, and sometimes less really is more.
1. People’s eyes glaze over when you’re speaking.
If you notice your conversation partner’s gaze wandering or their eyes taking on a vacant look, you might be oversharing. This glazed-over expression is often a polite way of checking out mentally while you continue your monologue. Pay attention to these non-verbal cues; they’re often more honest than what people say.
2. You’re constantly interrupted.
If people frequently cut you off mid-sentence, it might be their way of trying to get a word in edgewise. While interrupting is generally rude, it can become a defence mechanism for those feeling overwhelmed by a torrent of words. Try to create natural pauses in your speech to allow others to contribute.
3. You dominate group conversations.
In a group setting, if you find you’re doing most of the talking, it’s a clear sign you’re monopolising the conversation. A healthy group dynamic involves give and take, with everyone having a chance to speak. Try to actively invite others into the conversation by asking questions and showing genuine interest in their responses.
4. You often hear “That reminds me…” from people.
If people frequently use this phrase to change the subject, they might be trying to steer the conversation away from your extended monologue. This gentle redirection is often a polite way of saying, “Let’s talk about something else now.” Be aware of these subtle hints and take them as cues to step back from the spotlight.
5. You answer rhetorical questions.
Not every question needs an answer, especially not a lengthy one. If you find yourself launching into explanations for clearly rhetorical questions, you might be overdoing it. Remember, sometimes questions are asked to make a point, not to elicit a response.
6. You’re known as the “chatty” one in your group.
Source: Unsplash While being sociable is great, if your defining characteristic is how much you talk, it might be time to dial it back. This label can sometimes be a polite way of saying you talk too much. Try to balance your chattiness with active listening to create more balanced interactions.
7. You often forget what you were talking about.
Source: Pexels If you frequently lose track of your own point, it’s a sign you’re talking more than you’re thinking. This meandering style of conversation can be frustrating for listeners who are trying to follow your train of thought. Before speaking, try to organise your thoughts to keep your communication more focused and coherent.
8. People seem to avoid sitting next to you.
If you notice people strategically choosing seats away from you in social settings, they might be trying to avoid getting trapped in a one-sided conversation. This avoidance behaviour is often a subtle way of protecting their energy and time. Pay attention to these non-verbal cues and try to be more mindful of people’s personal space and time.
9. You’re always the last to leave a gathering.
Source: Unsplash If you find yourself lingering long after everyone else has said their goodbyes, you might be missing social cues that it’s time to wrap things up. This behaviour can be particularly tiresome for hosts or those who need to get home. Learn to recognise when a gathering is winding down and practice making timely exits.
10. You fill every silence.
Source: Unsplash Comfortable silences are part of natural conversation. If you feel compelled to fill every quiet moment, you’re not allowing for reflection or giving people a chance to contribute. Embrace the pauses; they’re often where the most thoughtful responses are born.
11. You over-explain simple concepts.
If you find yourself giving lengthy explanations for basic ideas, you might be underestimating your audience or overestimating the complexity of the topic. This habit can come across as condescending, even if that’s not your intention. Trust that people will ask for clarification if they need it.
12. You repeat yourself often.
Source: Unsplash If you catch yourself telling the same stories or making the same points multiple times in a conversation, you’re likely talking too much. This repetition can be frustrating for listeners and indicates you’re not fully engaged in the give-and-take of dialogue. Try to keep mental track of what you’ve already said to avoid redundancy.
13. People seem relieved when you finish speaking.
Source: Unsplash If you notice a visible sense of relief when you stop talking, it’s a clear sign you’ve been dominating the conversation. This relief might manifest as a sudden increase in energy or engagement from the people around you. Be aware of this shift in energy and use it as a cue to step back and listen more.
14. You give unsolicited advice… constantly.
While you might have good intentions, constantly offering advice without being asked can be overwhelming and off-putting. This habit can make people feel like you’re not really listening to understand, but rather waiting for an opportunity to showcase your knowledge. Remember, sometimes people just want to be heard, not fixed.
15. You talk over people.
If you frequently find yourself speaking at the same time as other people, you might be too eager to get your point across. This habit can be particularly frustrating in group settings and can make people feel like their input isn’t valued. Practice active listening and wait for clear pauses before contributing.
16. You share too many personal details.
Source: Unsplash If you regularly overshare intimate details about your life, especially with people you don’t know well, you might be crossing social boundaries. While openness can foster connection, too much too soon can make people uncomfortable. Be mindful of the depth of your relationships and share accordingly.
