Being showered with compliments and attention at work might feel flattering, but talk is cheap, as they say.
All the praise rings hollow after a while, especially when it’s all that’s offered in lieu of a raise or a promotion — something that would actually prove how valuable your boss believes you are. Love-bombing isn’t just for romantic relationships — it can happen in professional ones too, and just like experiencing it in the dating world, it can leave you feeling stuck and confused. Here’s how you know the higher-ups at your company are using this manipulative tactic on you — you’ll want to start brushing up your CV and start looking for a job elsewhere if so!
1. You’re constantly praised, but rarely given concrete opportunities.
If your boss or colleagues are quick to compliment your work, but there’s no follow-through with actual opportunities for growth, it could be a red flag. Things like “You’re indispensable!” or “We couldn’t do this without you!” are nice to hear, but they might just be a way to keep you in your current role. True recognition involves more than just words—it includes actions like mentoring you, assigning you leadership tasks, or advocating for your promotion. Empty praise without tangible steps forward often serves as a distraction to keep you satisfied where you are.
2. Promises are made but never materialise.
Love-bombing at work often involves vague assurances about your future, such as “Next year, we’ll review your position” or “Your promotion is definitely in the works.” These promises may be repeated endlessly without any real movement. If timelines keep shifting or there’s always an excuse for delays, it’s worth questioning whether these promises are genuine. A clear, actionable plan is a sign of real progress — anything less may just be a stalling tactic. Sure, things come up sometimes, but if there’s always an excuse for why your situation isn’t improving, it’s clearly never going to.
3. You’re loaded with extra responsibilities but no additional title or pay.
Being asked to “step up” and take on more without any official recognition or reward is all too common — and completely toxic. It’s a way to make you feel valued while avoiding the cost of a proper promotion. If you’re doing the work of someone at a higher level but your title and pay remain the same, it’s a sign you’re being exploited rather than supported in your career growth. Don’t be afraid to bring this up in performance reviews. If you’re not compensated for your time and energy, scale back on how much you’re contributing and stop doing things outside of your job description.
4. Perks are used to distract you.
Does your workplace try to keep you happy with small perks like free lunches, “Employee of the Month” awards, or team outings, while avoiding deeper conversations about your career progression? These gestures can feel nice, sure, but may be a substitute for meaningful growth opportunities. While perks can boost morale, they shouldn’t replace fair compensation or development opportunities. A workplace focused on your long-term success will prioritise your growth over superficial rewards. They can keep their pizza parties and casual Fridays — they should be showing you the money (and the better positions).
5. You’re given a lot of attention when you raise concerns.
When you express dissatisfaction or ambition, does your boss suddenly become overly attentive or enthusiastic about your role? Love-bombing often ramps up when they sense you might be losing interest or considering other opportunities. Their sudden attention might feel reassuring in the moment, but if it doesn’t result in actionable change, it’s likely a temporary tactic to keep you from leaving or pushing harder for a promotion. They figure it’ll blow over, and you’ll eventually become complacent again, and that’s what they’re looking forward to.
6. Compliments feel performative rather than genuine.
There’s a difference between thoughtful feedback and generic praise. If the compliments you receive feel overly exaggerated or out of context, they might be more about keeping you placated than acknowledging your actual contributions. Real recognition involves specifics, like pointing out particular achievements or detailing why your work made a difference. Fluffy or insincere compliments may be a sign of manipulation rather than genuine appreciation.
7. Conversations about promotions are vague or evasive.
If your manager avoids giving clear answers about your career progression, it could be a sign they’re stalling. Things like “We’re working on it” or “Just keep doing what you’re doing” without a detailed plan can mean that they’re stringing you along, especially if you’ve been hearing this for months or even years with no change. Transparency is key in career development. If you’re not getting clear answers about next steps, it’s worth pushing for specifics or considering whether this role truly values your growth.
8. You feel more valuable to your team than the organisation.
Workplace love-bombing often happens when your direct team or manager wants to keep you in your current role because you make their life easier. While your work might be vital to the team, the organisation as a whole may not see you as someone to invest in long-term. If you’re being told how “irreplaceable” you are in your current position but not being offered opportunities to advance, it might be time to reconsider whether staying is in your best interest. If you have big career ambitions, you might need to pursue them somewhere else.
9. They guilt you into staying put.
If conversations about career growth result in guilt trips, like being told the team would fall apart without you, it’s a sign you’re being love-bombed. Your boss is basically preying on your loyalty and trying to make you feel obligated to stay where you are. While loyalty is important, it shouldn’t come at the expense of your growth or happiness. A good leader will encourage you to advance, even if it means leaving your current role behind.
10. New hires are promoted faster than you.
If you’ve been with the company for years, but newer employees are being promoted ahead of you, it’s worth questioning why. Love-bombing often targets long-term employees to keep them loyal, while offering tangible rewards to newer hires to secure their commitment. Compare the opportunities given to you versus those offered to others. If there’s a clear imbalance, it may be time to advocate for yourself or explore opportunities elsewhere.
11. Your achievements are celebrated, but only temporarily.
Do you get public recognition or a pat on the back after big accomplishments but no lasting benefits? You may be getting short-term praise to make you feel appreciated, without addressing your long-term goals. While celebration is important, it should be followed by meaningful conversations about how your achievements translate into career growth. Without that next step, it’s just a distraction.
12. Your role keeps expanding without clear boundaries.
Love-bombing often looks like giving you more “responsibility” under the guise of trusting your abilities, but if these additional tasks come without a title change, pay increase, or support, it’s a sign you’re being exploited. A healthy workplace ensures that role expansions come with clarity, resources, and rewards. If not, it’s time to advocate for fair treatment. Your time is valuable — don’t do anything for free.
13. You’re encouraged to stay patient indefinitely.
If “patience” is the most common advice you receive about promotions, it’s worth questioning whether there’s a clear plan for your advancement. While some delays are understandable, long-term stalling often signals that your development isn’t a priority. Ask for specific timelines and goals. If these aren’t provided, it might be time to assess whether this workplace truly supports your ambitions or is just love-bombing you into complacency.
