When you’re a kid, the world is full of mysteries, and sometimes, your imagination fills in the gaps with completely ridiculous ideas.
Whether it was something a parent told you to keep you in line or just a wild assumption your brain came up with, chances are you believed some pretty questionable things. Looking back, it’s hard not to laugh at the things we were so convinced were true. Here are some of the funniest childhood beliefs that make absolutely no sense now. To be fair, they didn’t make any sense back then either, but that didn’t stop us from buying into them!
1. Swallowing gum means it stays in your stomach for seven years.
For some reason, adults really wanted kids to be scared of swallowing gum. Whether it was teachers, parents, or older siblings, everyone seemed to agree that if you swallowed it, it would just sit in your stomach for seven whole years. As kids, this was terrifying, like we were carrying around a secret stash of undigested gum for half our childhood. In reality, your body just passes gum like anything else. It doesn’t get stuck in your stomach forever, and it definitely doesn’t turn into some sort of permanent gum collection inside you. But for years, many of us chewed with extreme caution, just in case.
2. The floor is literally lava.
For some reason, kids have a universal instinct to believe that stepping on the floor in certain situations will result in instant doom. Whether it was an official game of “The Floor Is Lava” or just an internal belief that certain tiles were safe zones while others weren’t, this was serious business. Jumping from couch to couch or carefully stepping on specific floorboards felt like a matter of life or death. Now, we know the floor is, in fact, just the floor. But let’s be honest — if someone suddenly shouted, “The floor is lava!” right now, most of us would still jump.
3. If you swallowed a seed, a plant would grow inside you.
For some reason, the idea of a watermelon growing inside your stomach felt completely logical as a kid. Whether it was an innocent warning from an adult or just the result of a wild imagination, many of us believed that eating fruit seeds meant we’d soon have a personal farm inside us. This led to pure panic anytime a rogue seed made its way down our throat. We’d drink water in a desperate attempt to wash it away or poke our stomachs, wondering if we could feel something sprouting. Turns out, stomach acid is way too strong for that — but at the time, it felt like a real possibility.
4. The moon followed you wherever you went.
Driving at night as a kid, it was impossible to ignore the fact that the moon seemed to be following the car. No matter how many turns you made, it was still there, keeping up like it had nowhere else to be. The only logical conclusion? The moon had taken a special interest in you. Of course, it’s just an illusion — the moon is far away and doesn’t actually move in sync with your car. But at the time, it felt like some magical force was making sure the moon kept an eye on you, which honestly felt kind of special.
5. Holding in a sneeze would make your brain explode.
For some reason, the idea that sneezing too hard could physically destroy you was a widely accepted childhood fear. Whether we heard it from a friend or misunderstood something an adult said, the message was clear: sneezing was a dangerous business. Some kids believed that if you sneezed too hard, your head might pop off. Others thought that holding in a sneeze would cause your brain to explode. Now, we know sneezing is just a normal bodily function, but back then, every one felt like a high-stakes situation.
6. If you peed in the pool, the water would turn blue.
Public pools were full of mysteries, but none were more terrifying than the legendary “pee detector dye.” Adults convinced kids that if they peed in the water, a magical blue or purple ring would appear around them, exposing their crime to everyone. To this day, some people still wonder if this was real (spoiler: it wasn’t). It was just a brilliant trick to keep kids from turning swimming pools into personal toilets. And honestly? It worked.
7. Turning on a light in the car at night was illegal.
Source: Unsplash For some reason, every parent in the world agreed that turning on the car light while driving at night was a major crime. If you dared flick it on, they’d immediately panic and act like you were seconds away from causing a police chase. In reality, it’s not illegal — it’s just annoying for the driver. But as kids, we thought we were breaking the law every time we reached for that switch. It was basically the childhood equivalent of committing a major felony.
8. Your toys came to life when you weren’t looking.
Long before Toy Story, kids everywhere already knew their toys had a secret life. If you left the room, they were definitely having meetings, going on adventures, or plotting their next move. It was the only logical explanation for why they seemed slightly different when you picked them up again. Many kids even tried to catch their toys in the act by sneaking back into the room or leaving them in a certain position to see if they moved. Of course, nothing ever happened, but that didn’t stop us from believing in the magic for way longer than we should have.
9. If you crossed your eyes too long, they’d get stuck like that.
Making funny faces was all fun and games until someone warned you that your face could stay that way forever. The most common warning? If you crossed your eyes for too long, they’d get stuck like that, and you’d be doomed to live with permanently weird vision. Turns out, your eyes don’t actually freeze in place just because you hold them a certain way. But for years, many of us only crossed our eyes in quick bursts, just in case.
10. If you stepped on a crack, you’d break your mum’s back.
Source: Unsplash Walking down the pavement wasn’t just a casual activity; it was a mission to avoid cracks at all costs. “Step on a crack, break your mother’s back” was more than just a rhyme — it felt like an actual warning. Some kids took this very seriously, carefully stepping over every crack like it was a landmine. Others used it as an excuse to purposely stomp on cracks just to test the theory. Either way, most of us eventually realised that pavement cracks had zero impact on our mum’s spines.
11. Thunder was just angels bowling in the sky.
Source: Unsplash For kids who were scared of thunderstorms, adults often came up with creative ways to make the loud noises less terrifying. One of the most common? Telling us that thunder was just angels having a casual bowling tournament up in heaven. While it was a cute idea, it really didn’t explain lightning. Were the angels getting electrocuted every time they bowled a strike? The logic didn’t quite hold up, but it did make storms feel a little less scary.
