What’s considered polite can change a lot between generations.
Something that feels like basic manners to boomers might seem completely unnecessary or even invasive to Gen Z. There’s no argument here about who’s right or wrong—it’s just a difference in how people were raised, what they value, and the culture they grew up in. Here are some of the most common disconnects between these generations.
1. Not answering the phone immediately
To many boomers, ignoring a ringing phone, especially from family, is borderline disrespectful. If they call, they expect you to pick up. If you don’t, there’s often a “What if it was important?” reaction waiting for you later. Gen Z sees phone calls as optional, not urgent. Texting first is standard. Picking up a call without warning can feel intrusive, especially when a message could’ve handled it. It’s not rudeness; it’s boundaries.
2. Wearing headphones in public spaces
Older generations might interpret this as closed-off or unapproachable. Sitting on a bus or walking past someone with headphones in can come across as intentionally distant or “ignoring” those around you. For Gen Z, it’s normal to keep headphones on to create personal space, especially in overstimulating environments. It’s a form of self-regulation, not a social snub. They’re not being rude; they’re just protecting their peace.
3. Not making small talk with strangers
Boomers were raised in a time when chatting with people in line or greeting everyone in the room was just what you did. Silence could feel cold or antisocial, especially in public spaces. Gen Z is more selective with their energy. If someone isn’t vibing with small talk, it’s not personal—it’s just not necessary. They’re not trying to be rude, they just don’t believe every interaction needs filler conversation.
4. Not saying goodbye at the end of a group chat
For boomers, ending a conversation, even digitally, usually includes a sign-off. Not saying goodbye might seem abrupt or dismissive, like leaving the room without a word. Gen Z is used to chats that trail off naturally. Saying “bye” in every group thread isn’t expected—it’s just… done when it’s done. Conversations pause, pick up, or die out. That’s not rude, it’s just how messaging flows now.
5. Being on your phone during family gatherings
Pulling out your phone at the dinner table or during a visit can feel disrespectful to older generations. It looks like you’re checked out or bored, which can spark tension quickly. For Gen Z, phones are just part of how they exist. They might be taking photos, replying to a message, or just checking in, but it’s not meant to signal disinterest. It’s not always about ignoring people—it’s just multi-tasking.
6. Not responding to messages right away
To a boomer, taking hours or days to reply to a text might seem careless or rude. They may interpret it as avoidance, especially if they grew up in a time when a phone call meant immediacy. Gen Z often sets boundaries with their time. They reply when they have the mental energy to do so, not out of guilt. Delayed responses aren’t meant to be disrespectful—they’re a form of emotional self-regulation.
7. Turning down an invitation without an explanation
Older generations were raised to give a reason when saying no. Simply declining without adding context might feel blunt or cold, like you’re dodging responsibility or being ungrateful. Gen Z believes “no” is a complete sentence. You don’t owe an explanation to everyone, especially if you’re prioritising your mental space or avoiding burnout. It’s not personal—it’s just honest.
8. Expressing strong opinions online
Boomers might see social media as a place to stay in touch or share updates, not somewhere to be outspoken or openly political. They often see strong opinions online as aggressive or inappropriate for a public space. Gen Z grew up using the internet as a tool for advocacy, self-expression, and real conversation. Speaking up isn’t rude; it’s how they create community and drive change. Silence, to them, can feel like complicity.
9. Avoiding hugs or physical touch
To many boomers, a hug is just a warm greeting or an act of care. Turning one down or leaning away can seem like you’re being standoffish or rejecting connection. For Gen Z, consent matters—always. Just because physical affection is offered doesn’t mean it’s comfortable. Saying no to a hug isn’t rude; it’s about agency. Affection needs to be mutual, not assumed.
10. Talking openly about mental health
Boomers were often taught to keep personal struggles private. Speaking openly about therapy, anxiety, or burnout might come across as attention-seeking or even inappropriate in their eyes. Gen Z has normalised mental health conversations. They don’t see vulnerability as weakness; they see it as human. Talking about what’s going on inside isn’t oversharing. It’s honest, and sometimes even helpful to other people.
11. Not sending thank-you cards
Older generations often view handwritten thank-you notes as essential etiquette. Forgetting to send one can come across as ungrateful or careless, especially after a gift or kind gesture. Gen Z may send a quick message, post a story, or say thank you in person—and see that as enough. The formality isn’t always needed when the sentiment is still there. It’s about expressing thanks, not following a script.
12. Using slang or internet speak in real life
To boomers, phrases like “slay,” “I can’t,” or “lowkey” can sound confusing or just plain strange. Using that kind of language outside of text or social media might seem immature or inappropriate. For Gen Z, this is just how they talk. Language is fluid, playful, and constantly evolving. Using online phrases out loud isn’t meant to exclude anyone; it’s just part of their rhythm. What sounds odd to some feels natural to other people.
13. Avoiding phone calls in favour of texting
Again, to a lot of boomers, calling is more personal, direct, and respectful. Ignoring a call in favour of texting can come across as dismissive or even rude, especially when it’s from someone you’re close to. Gen Z doesn’t dislike connection. They just prefer it on their own terms. Texting gives them space to think, respond mindfully, and avoid pressure. They’re not trying to be distant. They just want control over the pace of communication.
14. Being blunt about your boundaries
Setting clear limits might be seen as unfriendly or abrupt by boomers, who were often taught to be accommodating even when uncomfortable. Saying “I’m not available” or “I’m not up for that” can feel jarring to them. Gen Z is more likely to lead with boundaries and expect them to be respected. They see it as being transparent and kind to both parties. To them, clarity is care, not attitude.
