Hitting 40 often comes with a mix of clarity and confidence that only experience can bring.
Suddenly, the things that felt urgent in your twenties or high-stakes in your thirties don’t hold the same weight anymore. With a bit more hindsight and a lot less tolerance for nonsense, many women over 40 start thinking about what they’d do differently if they had the chance to hit reset on their careers. It’s not that they’re full of regret. It’s just that they can see things more clearly and owning your power in a way you couldn’t before. If they could do it all over again, here are some common things many women would do differently.
1. They’d stop trying to prove themselves to everyone.
Early on, it feels like you have to constantly earn your place by working overtime, saying yes to everything, or holding back until you’re “ready.” But by 40, that mindset starts to fade fast. You realise that the people who need convincing might never give you the recognition you’re chasing anyway. So instead of hustling for outside approval, you start trusting your experience and letting that speak for itself.
2. They’d speak up more, even when it felt uncomfortable.
Whether it was in meetings, negotiations, or interviews, a lot of women look back and wish they’d voiced their ideas or asked for what they wanted sooner. Holding back often came from wanting to keep the peace or not be seen as “too much.” Now, there’s more of a why not energy. They’ve learned that staying quiet doesn’t protect you; it just holds you back. Speaking up feels less risky once you’ve already survived being overlooked a few times.
3. They’d stop taking rejection so personally.
In your twenties, a passed-over promotion or job offer can feel like the end of the world. However, after years of navigating career highs and lows, you start to see rejection as redirection. Women over 40 often realise that the opportunities that didn’t work out weren’t meant for them, and that better things usually came later. It shifts how you handle setbacks, with less shame and more perspective.
4. They’d walk away from toxic environments sooner.
Many women stuck it out in draining workplaces way longer than they should have, hoping things would change or worrying that leaving would look bad. But by 40, that tolerance tends to wear thin. The cost of staying in a job that drains you becomes way too obvious to ignore. You learn that walking away isn’t quitting; it’s protecting your energy. Peace of mind is worth more than a job title.
5. They’d stop equating busyness with success.
In the past, being constantly slammed with work felt like a badge of honour, like proof that you were important or doing something right. But the burnout that followed? Not so glamorous. Now, there’s a bigger focus on balance. Women realise that doing less doesn’t mean caring less; it means being strategic. Energy is a resource, and by 40, you learn to spend it where it actually matters.
6. They’d take more risks, even small ones.
It’s easy to play it safe early in your career, especially when you’re just trying to survive or build credibility. However, that caution can turn into stuckness over time. Women over 40 often look back and wish they’d trusted themselves more when it came to side projects, job switches, or even asking for raises. The lesson? Not taking a risk often feels worse than trying and failing.
7. They’d define success for themselves, not just follow the ladder.
Climbing the ranks sounds great until you get there and realise it’s not what you actually want. A lot of women spent years chasing someone else’s version of success before questioning if it even fits their life. Now, success looks more personal—maybe it’s flexibility, meaningful work, or doing something that actually lights them up. And that shift makes all the difference in how they move forward.
8. They’d back themselves more during transitions.
Source: Unsplash Changing careers, re-entering the workforce, or trying something new often comes with a side of self-doubt. Women over 40 say they spent too much time second-guessing instead of just getting started. Looking back, they realise they had more experience and skills than they gave themselves credit for. Confidence comes from doing, not waiting until you feel totally ready. That lesson tends to hit later, but it sticks.
9. They’d stop downplaying their wins.
So many women got in the habit of brushing off compliments or staying humble to the point of invisibility. However, playing small doesn’t actually make anyone more likeable; it just makes you easier to overlook. With time, there’s more willingness to own achievements and speak about them without apology. It’s not bragging, it’s being visible. And visibility is often what opens doors.
10. They’d be pickier about the people they work with.
Early on, you’re just happy to have a job or an opportunity. But after dealing with a few difficult bosses or untrustworthy coworkers, you start valuing fit over flash. Women over 40 tend to trust their instincts more. If someone seems off or the culture feels wrong, they don’t talk themselves out of it—they listen. Who you work with impacts how you feel day to day, and that can’t be overstated.
11. They’d ask for more, and earlier.
Whether it was salary, flexibility, or project ownership, many women say they stayed quiet too long when they should’ve just asked. They didn’t want to seem demanding or ungrateful. However, after a few years of watching other people ask and get what they wanted, the game starts to click. You realise the worst they can say is no, and sometimes, just asking is what shifts the dynamic entirely.
12. They’d invest in themselves without guilt.
Professional development used to feel like a luxury or something you had to justify. However, as time goes on, women see how valuable it is to pour into their own growth, whether that’s through courses, coaching, or taking a break to regroup. It’s no longer about proving the worth of that investment to other people. It’s about recognising that your time, energy, and skills are worth building on, and you don’t need permission to level up.
13. They’d stop apologising for changing direction.
Switching lanes used to feel like failure. But for many women over 40, it’s become a sign of courage, not confusion. They’ve let go of the idea that your career has to follow one straight path forever. Pivoting isn’t flaky; it’s smart. It means you’re paying attention to your life, your goals, and your capacity. When you’ve done a few pivots and survived? You stop needing everyone else to understand them.
