When a guy is trying to impress someone he likes, the effort is usually appreciated.
It’s sweet when someone likes you so much that they go out of their way to make a good impression. However, sometimes, those efforts land way off target. Maybe the man in question has outdated ideas about what’s attractive, makes over-the-top gestures, or just exhibits some plain cringeworthy behaviour — either way, some moves are more likely to make a woman shake her head than swoon. If you’ve ever wondered why your grand plan didn’t get the reaction you expected, here are some of the things you might be doing that definitely won’t ever go over well. (And before we go further, these would be just as off-putting coming from a woman, but they do happen to be more common male behaviours.)
1. Bragging endlessly about money or status
There’s a huge difference between having your life together and constantly showing off about it. Some men think that flashing cash, dropping their job title into every conversation, or talking non-stop about their expensive tastes will make them seem more attractive. Confidence is attractive, but arrogance isn’t. Most women care far more about how a guy treats them than how much he earns or what car he drives. Bragging about success just comes across as insecure rather than impressive.
2. Acting like they know everything
There’s nothing wrong with being knowledgeable, but some men take it to the extreme — correcting people constantly, talking over women to explain things they already know, or refusing to admit when they’re wrong. Trying to prove intelligence by dominating conversations is a fast track to irritation. Listening, showing curiosity, and being open to different perspectives is far more attractive than acting like the smartest person in the room.
3. Overdoing the “bad boy” act
Some guys assume that women only like bad boys, so they go out of their way to act detached, emotionally unavailable, or even rude. They think playing it cool or being nearly impossible to read will make them seem more desirable. In reality, most mature women just see this as childish behaviour. Confidence is attractive, but deliberately acting aloof or emotionally closed off just makes relationships harder than they need to be.
4. Showing off at the gym
Being fit and healthy is great, but some men take it too far — talking endlessly about their workout routine, flexing in every mirror, or turning every date into a lecture on nutrition. Most women can appreciate someone who takes care of themselves, but excessive gym talk or making fitness their entire personality just gets boring. No one needs a breakdown of your protein intake over dinner.
5. Trying too hard to be mysterious
Being a little mysterious can be intriguing, but some guys tend to go overboard by giving vague answers to basic questions, not responding directly to what’s being asked, or refusing to share anything personal in an attempt to seem deep and interesting. Instead of creating intrigue, this just makes conversations feel exhausting. There’s a difference between keeping some mystery and making it impossible to have a normal conversation.
6. Using outdated pickup lines
There’s nothing wrong with a little playful banter, but relying on cheesy one-liners from a bad ’90s rom-com isn’t the way to go. Lines like “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” or “Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears” just feel awkward. Most women prefer a man who can hold a normal, engaging conversation over someone who relies on scripted lines. Authenticity beats rehearsed charm every time.
7. Flashing their muscles in every photo
Posting gym selfies, flexing in every picture, or making sure their arms are always on show might impress their mates, but it rarely has the same effect on women. Confidence is attractive, but looking like you’re trying too hard isn’t. There’s nothing wrong with being proud of your hard work, but if every photo is a shirtless pose or a mirror flex, it starts to feel like a desperate attempt for attention rather than an actual personality trait.
8. Being overly competitive
Healthy competition can be fun, but some men take it way too seriously and turn literally everything into a challenge, needing to win at all costs, or refusing to lose gracefully in even the most casual games. Showing off how competitive you are in a game of mini-golf or board games just makes things uncomfortable. Confidence is great, but acting like your ego depends on winning is a massive turn-off.
9. Talking about all the women who want them
Some guys think that making themselves seem in demand will make them more attractive, so they casually drop comments about exes still being interested, women hitting on them, or how they always get attention when they go out. This almost always backfires. Instead of making a woman more interested, it just makes them wonder why they’re being told this in the first place. If someone is genuinely confident and secure, they don’t need to try and prove it.
10. Acting like chivalry means doing the bare minimum
Source: Unsplash Holding a door open or paying for dinner is nice, but some men act like small gestures should earn them instant praise. If they expect a round of applause every time they do something polite, it stops feeling genuine. Being kind and respectful should be the standard, not something that’s done purely to impress. Thoughtfulness and consideration go much further than grand gestures made for show.
11. Sending over-the-top messages too soon
There are men out there who think they need to go all-in from the start, sending messages like “I’ve never met anyone like you” or “I just feel such a deep connection already” after one date. While enthusiasm is great, coming on too strong too soon can feel intense. Genuine interest is attractive, but love bombing isn’t. Taking the time to actually get to know someone is far more appealing than rushing straight into deep, emotional declarations.
12. Trying too hard to be “different”
Some guys assume that standing out means rejecting anything mainstream — insisting they only listen to obscure music, mocking popular films, or constantly talking about how they’re not like “other men.” Being unique is great, but forcing it just comes across as insecure. Confidence isn’t about trying to be different for the sake of it; it’s about being comfortable in your own skin without needing to prove it.
13. Overusing “alpha male” behaviour
Some men think being dominant, loud, or overly assertive makes them more attractive, but in reality, acting like an “alpha” often just makes them look insecure. Whether it’s refusing to show emotion, bragging about being a leader, or acting dismissive towards other people, it rarely has the intended effect. Real confidence doesn’t need to be forced. Women tend to appreciate men who are comfortable in their own personality, not those who feel the need to prove their masculinity at every opportunity.
14. Trying too hard to be funny
Humour is one of the most attractive qualities someone can have, but trying too hard to be funny can quickly backfire. Some guys go overboard, cracking joke after joke or forcing humour into every situation, even when it’s not needed. Confidence and natural humour are great, but not every moment needs to be a stand-up routine. If someone is genuinely funny, they don’t have to try and prove it constantly.
