Moving in with someone — whether it’s a partner, friend, or flatmate — is an exciting step.
But let’s be real: sharing a home for the first time comes with a few surprises, and not all of them are very pleasant. Here are just a few things no one tells you about cohabitating until you’ve actually done it. You might love it or hate it, but at least you’ll be prepared!
1. Your idea of “clean” might not match theirs.
You might think a sparkling kitchen means wiping every surface, while they think “clean” means putting the dishes in the sink (and leaving them there). You’ll quickly realise that cleaning standards are wildly subjective. Get ready to negotiate what “tidy” really means. You may end up with a rotating cleaning schedule or even a discussion about which tasks matter most. It’s a crash course in compromise and a real test of patience.
2. Food mysteriously disappears.
Remember that pizza slice you were saving for later? Yeah, it’s gone. Whether it’s your flatmate helping themselves or your partner forgetting it wasn’t theirs, food boundaries will be tested. Labelling leftovers might feel passive-aggressive, but sometimes it’s necessary for survival. And don’t underestimate the need for “communal snacks” to avoid future disputes. A shared snack drawer can save friendships.
3. Bathroom habits will test your patience.
Who knew a roll of toilet paper could spark such tension? Whether it’s hair clogging the drain, endless showers, or toothpaste in the sink, you’ll learn more about each other’s hygiene habits than you ever wanted to. Compromise and a good dose of humour are essential here. Sometimes a simple agreement, like “wipe down the sink after use,” can work wonders. Oh, and brace yourself for the occasional bathroom queue during busy mornings.
4. You’ll have to figure out shared expenses.
Rent is one thing, but what about Wi-Fi, cleaning supplies, or the endless stash of toilet paper? Sorting out who pays for what can get awkward fast. Apps that split bills can save you from keeping mental score and potential arguments. And don’t forget the unexpected costs — like that random broken kettle or last-minute takeaway. Having a plan for covering surprise expenses can save a lot of stress.
5. You’ll need time apart — even at home.
Sharing a home doesn’t mean you have to be joined at the hip. Sometimes, you’ll crave some alone time, and that’s okay. Establishing a “do not disturb” vibe or having your own space to retreat to is crucial for keeping the peace (and your sanity). It might be as simple as headphones and a good book, but that personal space is golden. Don’t be afraid to communicate when you need a bit of solitude.
6. Weird habits will come to light.
Maybe they talk to themselves while cooking, or you hum loudly in the shower. Living together reveals quirks you never noticed before. The trick is learning to laugh about it instead of getting annoyed — or at least pretending you didn’t hear them talking to their plants. You might even start picking up each other’s habits. If you catch yourself adopting their quirks, just roll with it — it’s all part of the experience.
7. Their friends are now your houseguests too.
Love your flatmate? Great. But you might not love their mates turning up unannounced or hanging around for hours. Setting boundaries around visitors (and how long they stay) helps avoid any “Why are they still here?” moments. Don’t be shy about setting quiet hours or suggesting times that work best for everyone. A quick heads-up before people come over can make a world of difference.
8. Chores can feel like a minefield.
You’ll quickly realise that chore distribution is a delicate dance. Maybe you’re a tidy tornado, and they’re a champion procrastinator. Creating a chore chart might seem childish, but it can save you from passive-aggressive sighing and muttered complaints. You’ll also learn that some chores are more tolerable than others. If you hate vacuuming but don’t mind doing dishes, swap tasks and play to your strengths.
9. You’ll learn their morning routine — whether you want to or not.
Light sleeper? Good luck. Whether it’s the 6 a.m. blender, the snooze-button marathon, or endless hair-dryer sessions, their morning routine might become yours by default. Earplugs might become your new best friend. And if you both have early starts, be prepared to negotiate bathroom schedules to avoid a morning rush-hour situation. Coffee first, arguments later.
10. Decorating decisions can spark debates.
That framed movie poster you love? They might hate it. Their idea of décor might clash with yours in surprising ways. Compromising on style means learning to mix tastes or, at the very least, taking turns deciding which wall art stays and which goes. You might end up with a quirky, eclectic mix — and that’s perfectly fine. Just agree that some things, like that weird lamp from uni, may need to go.
11. Privacy becomes a rare luxury.
Need a moment to yourself? Good luck. Living together means doors are rarely closed for long, and someone is always just there. Finding ways to have personal space — even if it’s just a solo walk — keeps you from feeling suffocated. Sometimes, a pair of headphones or a closed-door signal can work wonders. Just make sure to respect each other’s need for quiet time.
12. You’ll hear everything.
Walls can be thin. Conversations, phone calls, even the latest Netflix binge — you’ll hear it all. Noise-cancelling headphones or a “no loud music after 10 p.m.” rule might just save your sanity (and your relationship). Be prepared for the occasional awkward moment when you accidentally overhear more than you wanted to know. It’s all part of the shared living experience.
13. Pet peeves you didn’t know you had will surface.
You never thought leaving the cap off the toothpaste would drive you mad, but here you are. Small irritations will pop up, and that’s normal. The key is addressing them before they turn into full-blown grudges. A little patience goes a long way. Remember, they’re probably discovering your quirks too, so a bit of mutual understanding can keep things harmonious.
14. It can be surprisingly fun.
Despite the challenges, sharing a home has its perks. Late-night chats, impromptu movie nights, and having someone to share the weirdness of life with can make it all worth it. The moments of laughter and connection often outweigh the quirks and chaos. You’ll build memories that you’ll laugh about for years, and the bond you form could be one of the strongest friendships you ever have.
