Dating isn’t easy, but some things make it way harder than it needs to be.
Even if you don’t have amazing chemistry with someone, you can still have a fun time getting to know them on a platonic level. However, there are certain things that make the experience a miserable one pretty much from the outset. Here are behaviours that turn promising first dates into last ones.
1. They talk non-stop about themselves.
Every topic somehow circles back to their experiences, opinions, and achievements. They go on and on, leaving you with no space to join in or share anything of your own. It’s not just nerves or enthusiasm—it’s a pretty clear sign that they’re used to being the centre of attention. If they can’t make room for you in a simple conversation, it’s not a good sign for the future.
2. They’re rude to the staff.
When it comes to waiters, bartenders, or anyone helping out, they suddenly lose all patience. Tone changes, eye-rolls start, and they’re quick to act entitled. How they treat people they consider “below” them speaks volumes about their true character. If they can’t show basic respect to other people, that attitude will probably come out with you too.
3. They can’t stay off their phone.
Every notification gets a look, every message needs a reply. It’s like their phone is more important than actually being with you. If they can’t give you their full attention on a date, chances are you’ll always be competing with a screen for their focus.
4. They trauma dump immediately.
Before you’ve even had a chance to relax, they’re already sharing heavy personal stories—past heartbreaks, family issues, and every emotional wound. It’s a lot to drop on someone right away. Pushing this level of intimacy too soon shows they might have trouble with boundaries.
5. They name-drop like it’s their job.
Every story seems to involve someone famous or important that they know. It’s like their value is based on who they’re connected to, rather than who they are. Constantly mentioning big names shows a need for validation that they just can’t get from being themselves.
6. They dismiss your interests.
Source: Unsplash The things you care about get dismissed with a bit of mockery or barely a flicker of interest. Anything you mention gets steered back to their preferred topics, making it clear they’re not all that interested in what matters to you. If they’re tuning you out now, it’s not likely to improve later.
7. They push physical boundaries.
Source: Unsplash They ignore your signals or keep pushing personal space without really checking in. From those “accidental” touches to disregarding your cues, they’re testing your boundaries without respect. It shows a worrying lack of regard for consent and signals a bigger issue with boundaries.
8. They act like they’re interviewing you.
Source: Unsplash Questions come rapid-fire, but there’s no flow—they’re just ticking boxes. Instead of having an actual conversation, it feels like you’re being put through some kind of dating questionnaire. This approach makes it seem like they’re dating a checklist, not a person.
9. They compete with your stories.
Source: Unsplash Every time you share a story, they’ve got one that’s “better.” Anything you’ve experienced, they’ve experienced it more. If they’re always competing rather than just listening, it shows they’re more interested in proving themselves than connecting with you.
10. They over-promise immediately.
Without even knowing much about you, they’re already talking about future plans and making big promises. They’re skipping over the present and trying to lock down some imagined future. If they’re rushing into commitments this quickly, it’s a red flag for unrealistic expectations.
11. Their generosity is selective.
They’re charming and kind to people who can help them out, but that generosity doesn’t extend to everyone. Their “kindness” comes with strings attached, and it feels calculated. Genuine generosity isn’t conditional—it’s a part of someone’s character, not a transaction.
12. They make assumptions about you.
Source: Unsplash They make snap judgments based on your job, hobbies, or background, treating their assumptions as facts. This says a lot about how closed-off they are to really understanding you. If they’re this quick to judge, it’s unlikely they’re truly open to getting to know the real you.
13. They dodge basic questions.
Source: Unsplash When you ask simple things about their life, they’re oddly vague or change the subject. It’s one thing to be private, but being evasive about basic stuff can signal honesty issues. If they’re dodging now, they’re probably hiding something.
14. They criticise everything around them.
Nothing seems to meet their standards—the food, the service, the atmosphere, even other people. If they’re this critical of the world around them, it’s usually a sign of internal discontent. Constant negativity can wear you down fast, and it’s not a good vibe to bring to any date.
15. They talk about money constantly.
Whether it’s possessions, wealth, or status, the conversation keeps circling back to money. It’s clear they measure themselves—and other people—by financial success. If that’s where their priorities lie, you can expect them to bring that mindset into the relationship too.
