Animals have their own methods of communication, but they can’t exactly pipe up and tell you to leave them alone when you’re annoying them.
While it’s possible to learn how to read some of our pets’ non-verbal messages, sometimes we misunderstand or even just ignore them in favour of doing whatever we want in the name of “cuteness.” No matter how Instagram-worthy these things are or how much they make you smile, they might actually be really upsetting your pet.
1. Dressing them up in costumes
A pet in a pumpkin outfit or a tiny bow tie can look adorable, but your furry friend might view clothing as an odd, uncomfortable experience. Outfits often restrict movement, making it tougher to walk, run, or groom naturally. Elastic bands around legs or the neck can rub fur the wrong way, creating tension or mild pain. While some pets seem unfazed, others simply tolerate it, occasionally giving subtle clues—like pawing at the costume or sitting frozen in place.
If you absolutely love the idea of pet fashion, consider starting small with a soft bandana or lightweight accessory. Observe your pet’s body language: flattened ears, tail between the legs, or incessant scratching signal displeasure. Quick photo ops can be harmless, but remove the outfit promptly if you see any distress. In the end, your pet’s comfort matters more than capturing a funny picture for social media.
2. Over-the-top hugging and squeezing
Humans show affection with big hugs, yet this doesn’t always translate well for animals. If you wrap your arms around a dog’s torso, they might interpret it as being pinned down, which can trigger anxiety or even mild panic. Cats generally dislike heavy restraint, often tolerating it briefly before squirming away. Subtle signs such as tensing up, pushing you with paws, or turning their head can mean “I’ve had enough.”
Instead of enveloping them in a bear hug, try gentle stroking or allow them to rest against you voluntarily. If your pet leans in, that’s typically a sign they’re okay with close contact; if they go stiff or yawn repeatedly, that can be a stress indicator. Mutual respect for personal space fosters better trust in the long run. A relaxed, content pet is more likely to give you natural cuddles on their own terms.
3. Boisterous greetings and loud voices
Returning home to your excited pet can tempt you to shout “Hello there!” at the top of your lungs. But that sudden burst of noise may startle them. Dogs and cats have sensitive hearing; a loud, high-pitched greeting can jolt them out of a calm state. Even if they’re wagging their tail, the intensity of your voice might confuse them into thinking something more dramatic is happening.
Try a calmer approach: greet your pet with a soft, warm tone. Let them initiate contact—if they jump up excitedly, acknowledge them gently. This approach helps your animal maintain emotional balance. While an energetic “welcome home” might be well-intentioned, toning down the volume can do wonders for keeping your pet’s nerves in check. They’ll still know you’re happy to see them, but won’t be overwhelmed by the sudden noise.
4. Constant picking up and carrying around
Small dogs, cats, and other petite pets often get scooped up without warning. Owners may see it as an affectionate gesture, but animals can feel trapped when held high against their will. Being unable to control their footing can trigger tension, particularly if you carry them for extended periods or pass them around to different people. Watch for squirming, raised fur on the neck, or anxious eyes scanning for an escape.
A better approach is to squat down, offer a hand, and let your pet come closer if they wish. If they do like being held, ensure you support their body firmly—one arm under the chest, one under the back legs—so they don’t feel like they might slip. Limiting how often you carry them around helps maintain their sense of autonomy and security.
5. Rough petting and patting
Everyone’s seen those well-meaning pats that go from a gentle rub to a hearty thumping on the side of a dog’s belly. Some pets genuinely enjoy a firm scratch, but others can become startled by forceful contact. Cats especially can switch from purring to swiping if they’re overstimulated by rough strokes, often called “petting-induced aggression.”
To avoid crossing the line, start with soft, consistent touches. Gauge your pet’s reaction: do they lean into you, or do their muscles tense up? Dogs who enjoy a vigorous pat usually keep wagging their tail loosely and look comfortable. Cats that like a hearty rub may push their head against your hand. If they pull away, flick their tail sharply, or stare at you with wide eyes, it’s time to ease up.
6. Invading their personal space
Hovering over your pet, placing your face inches from theirs, or continuously following them around can create discomfort. While humans see close face-to-face contact as bonding, animals often interpret it as dominance or intimidation. A dog might look away and lick its lips—a subtle “calming signal”—if it feels uneasy. Cats, meanwhile, might slink off or give a gentle hiss if they feel cornered.
Offering them the option to approach you on their own can make a huge difference. Try turning slightly to the side or kneeling down to reduce your imposing silhouette. This method communicates respect: “I’m here, I’m safe, and I’m giving you a choice.” Pets with a sense of control typically show more affection in return because they trust they can retreat whenever they need space.
7. Prolonged eye contact and staring contests
Extended eye contact in the animal world often signals a challenge. Though we might see it as affectionate, your dog or cat could interpret it differently. A cat that finds your gaze too intense might flick its tail in annoyance or suddenly walk away. A dog could become anxious or even show aggression if they feel cornered by that unwavering stare.
If you catch yourself gazing deeply into your pet’s eyes, try the classic “slow blink” or glance to the side occasionally. For many cats, a soft blink is like saying, “I’m relaxed; we’re friends.” Dogs may appreciate you breaking eye contact to reduce tension. This simple courtesy keeps your interactions calm and pleasant.
8. Loud kisses and “baby talk” directly in their ear
Planting big, smoochy kisses on your pet’s face can be adorable on Instagram, but the noise can overwhelm them. When done directly near the ear, it’s an even greater shock to their sensitive hearing. Likewise, an exaggerated baby voice might be endearing to humans, but can cause a jolt of volume that’s less soothing than you intend.
Try quieter tones or step back a bit if you want to gush over your pet. You can still talk sweetly or kiss them, but keep it gentle. Watch their body language: if they shift away or their ears go flat, that’s a sign your exuberance is a bit much. Dialling down the noise helps them stay relaxed and ensures you don’t accidentally scare them off from physical affection altogether.
9. Overstimulation with toys or laser pointers
Offering fun play sessions is essential for physical and mental stimulation, but it’s easy to go overboard. Laser pointers, for instance, can be thrilling yet frustrating if your pet never “catches” anything. They might end up agitated, searching for that elusive red dot well after the game ends. Similarly, non-stop squeaking toys or abrupt changes in direction can leave them panting hard or on edge, not in a playful mood.
Keep sessions short and positive. Let your dog actually grab a toy at intervals, or have your cat pounce on something tangible rather than always chasing an unreachable target. Once they catch it, the satisfaction signals their brain that the hunt was successful. This approach prevents playtime from turning into a relentless, stress-inducing exercise.
10. Encouraging them to perform under stress
Some owners love filming their pets doing tricks, balancing treats, or wearing quirky outfits for social media. While training and mental challenges can be great, constant filming can push your pet’s tolerance—especially if they’re confused about what you’re asking, or you keep them in an uncomfortable position. A dog forced to stay still with a biscuit perched on its nose for two minutes might look calm, yet internally, it might be tense or anxious.
Always watch for signs of discomfort: trembling, ears pinned back, or repeated yawning can mean “I’m feeling pressured.” If you see these cues, scale back the activity or give them a break. Reward-based training is fantastic when done in short, respectful bursts. Just make sure your pet’s well-being remains the priority, not an endless pursuit of shares and likes.
