At some point or another, you’ve probably been caught in a conversation that suddenly makes everyone within earshot shift uncomfortably.
Here’s a guide to help you navigate the treacherous terrain of public chit-chat. You don’t need to be uptight or secretive, but you should definitely respect people and maintain a level of decorum in shared spaces.
1. Your intimate relationship details.
Look, we get it. Your love life might be as exciting as a rollercoaster or as dramatic as a soap opera. But save those juicy details for your closest confidants, preferably over a glass of wine behind closed doors. Nobody waiting in line for their morning coffee needs to hear about your partner’s bedroom quirks or your latest relationship squabble. It’s like verbal PDA — keep it PG in public, folks.
2. Other people’s secrets.
If someone trusted you enough to share a secret, honour that trust. Don’t become the human equivalent of a leaky tap, dripping private information in public spaces. Not only is it a betrayal of trust, but it also makes you look untrustworthy. Remember, loose lips sink ships, and in this case, they might sink friendships too.
3. Your financial status.
Source: Unsplash Whether you’re rolling in dough or scraping by pay cheque to pay cheque, your bank balance is your business. Bragging about your wealth can make people feel inadequate, while complaining about money troubles might make people uncomfortable. Plus, you never know who’s listening — do you really want that man at the next table knowing you just got a big bonus? Keep your financial status like your PIN — private.
4. Graphic medical details.
We’re all for destigmatizing health issues, but there’s a time and a place for everything. Your recent colonoscopy experience, or the details of your latest rash? Maybe save those for your doctor’s office or close friends who’ve signed up for that level of information sharing. Remember, some people are trying to eat their lunch without visualizing your ingrown toenail saga.
5. Controversial political opinions.
Source: Unsplash In today’s polarized world, political discussions can turn a peaceful café into a verbal battleground faster than you can say “electoral college.” While it’s great to be informed and passionate, launching into a political tirade in public is about as welcome as a mosquito at a nudist colony. Save the heated debates for appropriate forums or private gatherings, where everyone’s signed up for that kind of discourse.
6. Offensive jokes or comments.
Source: Unsplash That joke that kills at your buddy’s poker night? It might not play so well in the wider world. Offensive humour, whether it’s racist, sexist, or otherwise discriminatory, has no place in public discourse. Not only is it hurtful, but it also paints you as insensitive at best and a bigot at worst. Stick to jokes that don’t punch down — your public image (and karma) will thank you.
7. Your latest diet or exercise regimen.
Source: Unsplash Unless someone specifically asks, your keto journey or CrossFit obsession should remain personal. Unsolicited advice about health and fitness can come across as preachy or judgmental. Plus, you never know who around you might be struggling with body image or health issues. Keep your dietary choices and workout routines like your abs (if you have them) — only show them off in appropriate settings.
8. Gossip about mutual acquaintances.
Source: Unsplash The temptation to share the latest hot gossip can be strong, but resist it in public spaces. You never know who might overhear and relay the information back to the subject of your gossip. Plus, it makes you look petty and untrustworthy. If you wouldn’t say it to someone’s face, don’t say it behind their back — especially not where other people can hear.
9. Detailed work complaints.
Source: Unsplash We all need to vent about work sometimes, but a public setting isn’t the place for it. You never know who might be listening — it could be your boss’s friend or a potential future employer. Keep the detailed work gripes for private conversations with trusted friends. In public, stick to general statements if you must, but better yet, change the subject to something less professionally risky.
10. Your wild party adventures.
Source: Unsplash What happens in Vegas should stay in Vegas — or at least out of public conversation. Bragging about your crazy nights out or illegal adventures isn’t just tacky, it could be potentially incriminating. Plus, it might make people uncomfortable or paint you as immature. Keep those wild stories for your inner circle, preferably when you’re not in danger of being overheard by judgmental strangers or impressionable kids.
11. Detailed descriptions of violence or gore.
Whether it’s from a film you just watched, a book you read, or a real-life event, graphic descriptions of violence are generally not appropriate for public spaces. Some people are sensitive to this kind of content, and you never know who might be overhearing — including children. Save the gory details for spaces where everyone’s prepared for that kind of discussion.
12. Your personal hygiene routines.
The ins and outs of your personal grooming habits should remain, well, personal. Nobody needs to hear about your nose hair trimming technique or your latest adventure in bikini waxing while they’re trying to enjoy their lunch. Keep your hygiene habits like your underwear — necessary, but not for public display.
13. Excessive complaining.
Life has its ups and downs, sure, but a constant stream of complaints can be a real downer for everyone around you. Chronic complaining in public brings down the mood and paints you as a negative person. Try to keep public conversations more balanced — if you must vent, do it privately with close friends who’ve signed up for that level of emotional support.
14. Details of your legal troubles.
Source: Unsplash If you’re involved in any kind of legal issue, from a messy divorce to a pending lawsuit, keep the details under wraps in public. Not only could loose talk potentially harm your case, but it’s also a heavy subject that can make casual acquaintances or strangers uncomfortable. Save the legal talk for your lawyer’s office.
15. Explicit sexual content.
Source: Unsplash This should go without saying, but explicit sexual talk has no place in public conversations. It’s not just about being prudish — it’s about respecting the comfort levels of those around you. You never know who might be within earshot, including children or people who might be uncomfortable with such content. Keep the dirty talk for private, consensual settings.
16. Other people’s personal information.
Source: Unsplash In an age of identity theft and privacy concerns, it’s crucial to respect people’s personal information. Don’t share someone else’s phone number, address, or any other private details in public, even if you think you’re being helpful. You never know who might be listening and how that information could be misused.
17. Unsolicited negative opinions about someone’s appearance.
Source: Unsplash Keep your unsolicited critiques of other people’s looks to yourself. Whether it’s commenting on someone’s weight, clothing choices, or any other aspect of their appearance, it’s best to follow the old adage: if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Remember, your offhand comment could ruin someone’s entire day.
