You want to make a great impression, have fun, and see where things go on your dates—don’t we all?
Sadly, sometimes, despite your best efforts, things don’t quite click. If you keep experiencing awkward moments, ghosting, or just feeling like your dates don’t go anywhere, it might not be bad luck. You could be making small mistakes without even realising it. The good news? Most dating mistakes are easy to fix once you know what to look out for. If you’re making any of these missteps, don’t sweat it—you can turn things around.
1. Talking too much (or too little)
Source: Unsplash Nervous energy can make you ramble, especially if you’re trying to fill silences, but dominating the conversation can make your date feel unheard or disconnected. On the other hand, if you say too little, you might come across as disengaged or uninterested.
The best dates have a natural rhythm, where both people contribute equally. Make sure to ask open-ended questions and listen actively, so the conversation feels like an enjoyable back-and-forth rather than a one-sided monologue or an interrogation.
2. Overplanning or underplanning the date
Trying to impress your date with an elaborate, multi-stop evening might seem like a good idea, but it can actually feel overwhelming. Likewise, showing up without any plan at all can lead to awkwardness or wasted time figuring out what to do.
The best approach is to keep it simple but structured. Choose a setting where you can talk easily, like a cosy coffee shop, a relaxed bar, or an activity like bowling or a walk in the park. A little planning goes a long way in making the experience feel effortless and enjoyable.
3. Not actually listening
It’s easy to nod along while mentally planning your next response, but if you’re not truly listening, your date will notice. If they mention something personal, and you ask about it again later, it’s a clear sign you weren’t paying attention.
Being present in the conversation is one of the simplest ways to make a great impression. Instead of worrying about what to say next, focus on their words, ask thoughtful follow-up questions, and react naturally. This makes them feel heard and valued.
4. Checking your phone too much
Nothing kills the mood on a date faster than someone glued to their screen. Even a quick glance at your phone can send the message that you’re bored or not fully engaged. Unless it’s an emergency, keep your phone on silent and put it away. Giving your date your full attention shows respect and makes them feel like they matter.
5. Complaining too much
Bad traffic, a stressful workday, or a disappointing meal—sometimes things go wrong. But if you spend the date venting, it can drain the energy of the conversation and make you seem negative. It’s okay to acknowledge frustrations, but try to keep things light and positive overall. If you feel the urge to complain, balance it by shifting the conversation toward something fun, interesting, or uplifting.
6. Being too rehearsed or robotic
It’s great to have conversation starters in mind, but if you sound like you’re following a script, the interaction can feel forced. Dating should be about genuine connection, not performance.
Don’t be afraid to let the conversation flow naturally. Small pauses aren’t a bad thing; they give both of you time to process and respond authentically. The best moments often come from spontaneity, not from sticking to a pre-planned routine.
7. Only talking about yourself
It’s important to share your interests and experiences, but if you dominate the conversation with personal stories, your date might feel like they’re just an audience rather than an equal participant. Make sure to ask about their interests, opinions, and experiences. A great date should feel like a balanced exchange where both people feel valued and engaged.
8. Bringing up exes too soon
Source: Unsplash Past relationships are a natural part of life, but bringing up your ex too early can make things awkward. If you mention them too much, it might seem like you’re not over them or that you’re comparing your date to someone else. Stick to present and future-focused topics, especially early on. If your date asks about past relationships, keep it light and positive before smoothly moving on to something else.
9. Being too vague about what you want
If you’re hoping for something serious, but act like you’re just casually dating, or vice versa, it can lead to confusion and wasted time for both of you. You don’t need to map out your entire future on the first date, but being clear about what you’re looking for can help you both determine if you’re on the same page.
10. Playing it too cool
Trying to act aloof to seem more attractive often backfires. If you’re too distant or reserved, your date might assume you’re not interested and lose enthusiasm. Confidence is great, but warmth and engagement are far more appealing than an attempt to be mysterious. If you’re having a good time, let them know—it creates a more natural and enjoyable connection.
11. Talking too much about your dating struggles
Source: Unsplash It’s tempting to bond over bad dating experiences, but going on about all the terrible dates you’ve had or how much you hate dating apps can make the date feel negative. Instead of dwelling on past frustrations, focus on making this date fun and refreshing. If dating has been exhausting, it might be worth taking a short break and coming back when you feel more positive about the experience.
12. Overanalysing everything
Source: Unsplash Not every date will be perfect, and that’s okay. If you spend too much time dissecting every detail, you might miss out on actually enjoying the moment. Instead of worrying about what every little gesture or word means, focus on how you feel during the date. If you’re comfortable and enjoying their company, that’s what really matters.
13. Letting nerves take over
Source: Unsplash Feeling nervous is completely normal, but if it makes you fidget, talk too fast, or second-guess yourself constantly, it can create an awkward vibe. Take deep breaths, remind yourself that dates are meant to be fun, and shift your focus from your own performance to simply getting to know the other person.
14. Not ending the date on a good note
Whether or not you want to see them again, ending the date on a positive note is important. A rushed or awkward goodbye can leave a bad last impression. Even if you’re unsure about a second date, a simple “I had a great time, thanks for meeting up” keeps things respectful. And if you are interested, making your intentions clear through a warm smile, a genuine compliment, or a casual mention of seeing each other again helps avoid mixed signals.
15. Waiting too long to follow up
If you had a great time but then go silent for days, your date might assume you weren’t interested. Playing hard to get rarely works in today’s dating world. If you want to see them again, send a short message within a day or two. A simple “Had a great time last night—would love to do it again” keeps the momentum going and avoids unnecessary confusion.
