How many times have you said “yes” to things out of obligation, guilt, or habit, without realising how much they’re draining your energy?
Probably a lot, and while it seems harmless enough in the moment, over time, these small compromises can leave you feeling overwhelmed and burnt out. No matter how helpful or agreeable you’re trying to be, there are certain things you might be agreeing to in life to that are stealing your energy. These are a few of the worst offenders, as well as a few ideas for how to reprioritise your time and energy.
1. Doing favours you don’t have time for
Saying “yes” to every request for help can stretch you thin, leaving little time for yourself. While it’s great to support people, overcommitting leads to exhaustion. Start practising saying “I’d love to help, but I’m at capacity right now.” It’s okay to prioritise your own schedule.
2. Going to parties or other events out of guilt
From awkward family gatherings to obligatory social events, saying “yes” because you feel bad saying “no” is a fast track to burnout. Instead, learn to decline gracefully with statements like, “Thanks for the invite, but I can’t make it this time.” Your time is yours to protect.
3. Taking on extra work at your job
While being a team player is admirable, constantly saying “yes” to extra tasks can lead to stress and resentment. Practice setting boundaries by saying, “I’m happy to help, but I’ll need to shift some priorities. Can we discuss what’s most important?” This shows your willingness without overloading yourself.
4. Keeping toxic people in your life
Some relationships take more than they give, leaving you emotionally drained. If you find yourself saying “yes” to people who constantly bring negativity into your life, it’s time to reevaluate. Start creating distance by spending less time with them and focusing on healthier connections.
5. Always being the problem solver
If you’re the go-to person for fixing everything, you might be saying “yes” to responsibilities that aren’t yours to bear. While it feels good to help, constantly taking on other people’s problems can drain your mental energy. Try offering support without overstepping, like saying, “I’m here for advice, but you’ve got this.” It’s literally not your job to live people’s lives for them.
6. Overcommitting to social obligations
Packing your calendar with back-to-back plans might seem fun at first, but it can leave you feeling drained and longing for quiet time. Learn to protect your energy by scheduling downtime and saying “yes” only to plans you’re genuinely excited about.
7. Saying yes to tasks out of fear of confrontation
If you agree to things just to avoid awkward conversations, you’re likely putting everyone else’s needs before your own (or often at the expense of your own, full stop). Start small by practising polite refusals like, “I appreciate you asking, but I’m unable to take that on right now.” It gets easier with time, even if it feels really awkward or uncomfortable at first.
8. Agreeing to things that don’t align with your goals
Opportunities that don’t align with your priorities can end up being distractions. Instead of saying “yes” to everything, pause and ask yourself, “Does this move me closer to what I want?” If the answer is no, it’s okay to pass. That’s not to say you have to maximise productivity non-stop, but if something is clearly out of line with the big picture you’re trying to create, give it a pass.
9. Ignoring your need for rest
Consistently saying “yes” to late nights, early mornings, or busy weekends can leave you physically and mentally exhausted. Start prioritising rest by building non-negotiable downtime into your schedule. Remember, rest is productive, too. There’s no sense in overextending yourself, making you crabby and generally feeling terrible, when you could simply make sure you’re getting the R&R you clearly need.
10. Volunteering out of obligation
Helping out is wonderful, but overcommitting to volunteer activities out of guilt can lead to burnout. Focus on one or two causes that truly matter to you, and learn to say no to people with gratitude, like, “Thanks for thinking of me, but I can’t commit right now.” It really is that simple. You’re not a bad person for not having the time, energy, or mental bandwidth to help everyone else when you’re busy trying to help yourself.
11. Agreeing to plans without checking in with yourself
Sometimes, a quick “yes” can lead to regret later when you realise you’re not up for it. Take a bit of time before agreeing to anything, and give yourself time to assess whether it’s something you really want or can handle. A simple “Let me get back to you” works wonders. The last thing you want to do is overload yourself or double book, only to have to cancel later. Surely, that would be more disappointing!
12. Taking responsibility for other people’s emotions
Saying “yes” to managing how people feel, whether it’s avoiding upsetting someone or always being their emotional rock, can leave you emotionally drained. Start setting boundaries by reminding yourself that their emotions are their responsibility, not yours. If they’re really struggling, you can be a sounding board for them, but they might need to talk to a mental health professional. You’re not their therapist, and you shouldn’t feel pressured to act as though you are.
13. Ignoring your own needs to keep the peace
Sacrificing your wants and needs to avoid drama or confrontation might seem easier in the short term, but it can lead to resentment and fatigue. Start advocating for yourself by calmly expressing your feelings and offering compromises, like, “I understand your point, but this is important to me.” Sometimes you really do have to look out for number one. Doing anything else would mean doing yourself a disservice.
