Most of the time, it’s not malicious. It’s not even on purpose.
A lot of the comments that come off as condescending from boomers are actually meant to be helpful, supportive, or reflective. Unfortunately, generational gaps in communication, values, and context can make those well-meaning remarks land in a way that feels unintentionally patronising. If you’ve ever felt like you were being “advised” into silence, guilt, or embarrassment, chances are you’ve heard something like this before.
1. “When I was your age, I already had a mortgage and two kids.”
This line often gets dropped during conversations about life goals or financial stress, usually meant to highlight how different things were back then. However, instead of feeling inspiring, it tends to come off like a subtle judgment about how slow or “behind” younger generations are. The reality is that housing prices, wages, and economic conditions have changed dramatically. So what sounds like a flex can often feel like a reminder of everything that’s become more out of reach.
2. “You just need to work harder.”
This advice might sound motivating on the surface, but in the current context of hustle culture, burnout, and sky-high living costs, it can feel wildly out of touch. Most younger people are already pushing themselves to unsustainable levels, and the problem isn’t usually effort. It’s structure. When hard work no longer guarantees security, being told to simply push more can feel like someone’s ignoring the entire system you’re struggling under.
3. “You should be grateful to have a job at all.”
This one often comes up when someone expresses frustration about low pay, bad bosses, or lack of flexibility. And while gratitude is important, using it to dismiss real concerns comes off as tone-deaf. It implies that people should accept mistreatment or stagnation just because work exists. That kind of minimisation usually feels less like encouragement and more like a way to shut the conversation down.
4. “I just don’t see why that’s offensive.”
Whether it’s about race, gender, pronouns, or mental health, this phrase tends to pop up when someone doesn’t understand—or doesn’t want to understand—why something matters. It’s framed as honest confusion, but it often signals resistance to growth. Instead of exploring the issue, it puts the burden of explanation back on the person who’s already feeling unseen. That can make the space feel more hostile than open.
5. “You young people are so easily offended these days.”
This classic line is usually meant to highlight how “tough” boomers were, but it often ignores how emotional suppression and cultural silence played into that toughness. Today’s generations talk about things openly, and that doesn’t make them weaker; it just means they’re less willing to normalise harm. Framing that change as hypersensitivity minimises progress. And it turns conversations about respect into critiques of character.
6. “That’s not how we did things in my day.”
On the surface, this can sound nostalgic—but depending on tone, it also reads like a subtle dismissal of how things are done now. Whether it’s parenting styles, workplace boundaries, or dating norms, this phrase can feel like an eye-roll at modern decisions. It centres the past as the gold standard, even when context has clearly evolved. And that comparison doesn’t just feel condescending—it often leaves younger people feeling like they can’t win.
7. “It’s just a phase.”
Whether someone’s talking about their identity, beliefs, or personal values, this phrase tends to reduce the conversation to something temporary or experimental. Even when it’s said with a smile, it can feel deeply invalidating. It suggests that what someone’s feeling isn’t real or serious, and that you’re just waiting for them to come around to your way of thinking. That kind of assumption can definitely destroy trust.
8. “I don’t get anxiety—I just get on with things.”
This is usually meant as a self-pat on the back, but it also implies that anxiety and mental health struggles are just signs of weakness or poor mindset. It doesn’t take into account the progress in how we understand emotional wellbeing today. Even if it’s said out of pride for one’s own resilience, it can come across as dismissive of the very real, very common challenges many people now face and name openly.
9. “You’re lucky we let you live here rent-free.”
This might be true, but when it’s said with a tone of exasperation, it often sounds more like a guilt trip than a gesture of support. Many young people are living at home out of necessity—not because they’re unwilling to grow up, but because independence has become financially overwhelming. Throwing generosity back in someone’s face doesn’t encourage independence. It builds resentment and makes home feel like a contract instead of a refuge.
10. “You’ll change your mind when you’re older.”
This is another way of saying, “Your current thoughts don’t count yet.” Even if it’s coming from a place of personal hindsight, it tends to write off someone’s present-day truth as naive or unformed. People do change, yes, but that doesn’t make their current values invalid. Dismissing them out of hand often feels more like superiority than wisdom.
11. “Nobody helped me—I did it all on my own.”
This is meant to inspire, but it often comes with an implied accusation: that if you’re struggling, it’s because you’re not trying hard enough. It overlooks the help that might have existed in different forms—affordable housing, better wages, more stable job markets. It also turns struggle into a badge of honour, rather than a challenge worth improving for the next generation. That framing can feel more like pressure than perspective.
12. “Why don’t you just pick up the phone and call?”
There’s usually no harm meant here—just a preference for old-school communication. However, it can also carry an undertone of frustration, as if newer communication styles (texts, DMs, voice notes) are somehow inferior or lazy. The world has changed. So has the way people connect. And framing modern methods as impersonal or rude often misses the reality of how connection works for different people today.
13. “We just didn’t talk about those things back then.”
This is often said during discussions around trauma, therapy, or identity. While it might be factual, it’s sometimes used as a way to dodge discomfort or excuse emotional neglect. Saying it too often can make it seem like silence was a virtue. And when younger generations are trying to have harder conversations, this line tends to feel like a brick wall rather than a bridge.
14. “You have it so much easier than we did.”
It’s a comparison that rarely lands well. Yes, every generation has its challenges, but this phrase tends to flatten the struggles of today into something lightweight or manufactured. It overlooks the complexity of living in a world that’s faster, louder, more expensive, and constantly changing. Instead of validating hardship, it turns it into a competition. And for those on the receiving end, it doesn’t spark gratitude—it sparks frustration.
