Moving in with your best friend seems like a dream at first.
You already get along, have inside jokes, and know each other’s weird habits, so what could go wrong? Well, living with someone is a different level of closeness, and even the strongest friendships can be tested when daily life starts getting real. It’s not that it’s doomed to fail, but there are definitely some unexpected realities that catch people off guard. Here’s why moving in with your best friend isn’t always the smooth ride you expect, and why it’s worth thinking twice before signing that lease.
1. Their quirks suddenly become your daily problem.
That “cute” habit of leaving mugs everywhere? Less charming when it’s a daily occurrence. When you’re sharing a space, all the little quirks you once found funny or harmless can start to grate on your nerves fast. What used to be an occasional thing now happens right in your shared living room or kitchen. It’s one thing to laugh at their chaos from afar; it’s another when it’s sitting in your sink for three days straight.
2. Money conversations get awkward fast.
Best friends might be totally in sync emotionally, but financial expectations can be a whole other story. Who’s buying the loo roll? What happens if one person’s short on rent this month? Talking about money with someone you care about can get uncomfortable, especially if your spending styles are very different. Even small things like splitting takeaway or utility bills can lead to quiet tension if you’re not on the same page from the start.
3. You lose your alone time, even when you’re not talking.
It’s easy to forget that living with someone means sharing more than just the physical space. Even quiet coexisting can feel draining when you don’t have a chance to fully be alone or decompress after a long day. Suddenly, your safe space includes another person’s energy all the time. And even if you love them, it’s not the same as living solo or with someone you’re not deeply emotionally connected to.
4. Fights hit harder than they would with a regular housemate.
Arguing with a housemate is one thing; arguing with your best friend is another. When emotions run deep, even a disagreement over cleaning can feel personal and intense. You’re not just venting about chores—you’re potentially risking the dynamic of the friendship. The emotional stakes are higher, which means minor issues can feel like major betrayals if they’re not handled carefully.
5. Boundaries get blurry very quickly.
When you live with your best friend, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking you always have to hang out. But sometimes, you just want to do your own thing without feeling like you’re rejecting them. Without clear boundaries, you can end up feeling guilty for needing space, or annoyed when they don’t pick up on the cues. And that guilt or resentment can silently build until it spills over in unexpected ways.
6. Their habits might not match your lifestyle.
You might love going to bed at 10 and waking up early. They might be blasting music at midnight and cooking breakfast at 2am. When your rhythms are out of sync, it can create friction in the most ordinary parts of life. It’s not about one of you being right or wrong; it’s just about compatibility. And sometimes, you don’t realise how different your lifestyles are until you’re trying to share a fridge and a bathroom every day.
7. It’s harder to vent about them when they’re your go-to person.
Normally, when a housemate annoys you, you’d probably text your best friend. But when your best friend is the one you’re frustrated with, it gets tricky to figure out who you can talk to. That sense of isolation can make the conflict feel worse. And if you’re bottling things up instead of talking them through (because you don’t want to hurt their feelings), it just adds more pressure to an already tense situation.
8. Shared spaces stop feeling like a break from the world.
Living with someone means your home becomes a shared space, not your personal retreat. If your friend has people over all the time or likes constant noise, you might struggle to find peace in your own home. Even if they’re not doing anything wrong, the vibe might not match what you need to feel calm and recharged. You start longing for that version of your home that’s just yours—and that can be tough to navigate without hurting feelings.
9. Decision-making becomes surprisingly political.
Decorating a shared space? Choosing a Netflix show? Deciding how to split chores? These small decisions can turn into tug-of-wars when both people are strong personalities or used to calling the shots. What starts as “whatever you want!” can quickly shift into silent irritation when one person always seems to make the final call. Living together means learning to compromise—and best friends aren’t always great at that when the friendship was never built around shared living logistics.
10. The dynamic might change in ways you didn’t expect.
Maybe one of you becomes the “parent” figure—always cleaning, reminding the other to do chores, or handling the bills. Or maybe one becomes more emotionally dependent once you’re under the same roof. Those imbalances can strain the friendship. What used to be easy and equal now has roles and expectations, and that can change the entire vibe. You might still care deeply for each other, but it doesn’t always feel the same anymore.
11. You find yourself managing their emotions more than your own.
When you’re close to someone, it’s natural to care about how they feel—but in shared living, that can spiral into emotional caretaking. You might catch yourself tiptoeing around their moods or putting your own needs last to avoid conflict. That emotional labour can be exhausting, especially if you’re someone who’s highly sensitive or avoids confrontation. Living with someone means facing their ups and downs in real time, and that’s a lot to hold without boundaries in place.
12. When things go wrong, it’s harder to walk away.
If a friendship sours in a regular context, you can take some space or slowly drift apart. But if you live together, you still have to share a kitchen, pay rent, and deal with logistics even if things get tense. This can lead to a weird limbo where neither of you wants to rock the boat, but the closeness starts to feel uncomfortable. When home doesn’t feel peaceful anymore, even day-to-day life becomes heavier than it needs to be.
13. If the friendship ends, it’s more painful than just finding a new housemate.
Housemate fallouts are one thing. Losing a best friend over a lease disagreement, daily habits, or miscommunication hits completely differently. It’s heartbreaking when someone you trusted with everything suddenly feels like a stranger. The grief of a friendship breakup can linger long after the boxes are packed. It’s not that you shouldn’t move in together; it’s that you need to go in with your eyes open, honest communication ready, and the understanding that even the best friendships have limits under stress.
