Everyone wants to make their parents proud, and if your dad in particular has always high standards, you’ll likely strive continually to meet them.
However, sometimes the things your father wants for you aren’t what you want for your own life. Following your own path is the right decision, but it might make you feel like you’re letting your dad down. Unfortunately, if you notice these things happening, you might be right — he might be slightly disappointed in you. Try not to let it get to you too much. As long as you’re being true to yourself, that’s what really matters.
1. He’s always comparing you to other people, and not in a nice way.
If your dad is always bringing up how your siblings or friends are doing better, it can feel pretty rough. It’s like he’s subtly saying you’re not measuring up, even if he doesn’t mean to. This kind of comparison can mess with your confidence and make you feel like you’re falling short. Try not to let it get to you — your progress is yours, and it’s enough.
2. His praise feels lukewarm or forced.
When you do something worth celebrating, and his response is more like a half-hearted “That’s nice,” it stings a bit. Instead of genuine excitement, you might feel like he’s just going through the motions. That lack of enthusiasm can really make you question whether he’s proud of what you’ve achieved. But remember, his way of showing pride doesn’t define how amazing your accomplishments are.
3. He never wants to talk about your goals or interests.
If he seems to change the subject whenever you bring up something you care about, it can feel like he’s just not interested in you. It could be a sign that he’s disappointed in your choices or isn’t engaging with your dreams. It can be tough when it feels like he’s not supporting what matters to you. But keep pursuing what makes you happy, whether he’s on board or not.
4. He offers constant “constructive” criticism.
While a bit of constructive criticism can be helpful, if it’s non-stop, it might be a sign of deeper disappointment. If everything you do seems to be followed by advice on how to do it better, it can feel like nothing is ever good enough. You might start to feel like you can’t win, no matter what you do. Recognising that you’re doing your best can help you brush off these constant reminders of what’s wrong.
5. He rarely asks about your life.
If your dad isn’t showing any curiosity about your day-to-day, it might suggest he’s not invested in what you’re doing. Someone who’s proud of you would want to know what you’re up to. When he doesn’t ask, it can feel like he’s not valuing your choices or life. But that doesn’t mean your life isn’t important — keep sharing it with people who do care.
6. He compares your life choices to his own.
“When I was your age, I had already done X, Y, and Z” — this one can feel like a gut punch. When he keeps comparing his life to yours, it can make you feel like your journey is somehow less than his. You might start to wonder if you’re falling short of what he expected. But remember, your life is your own, and it doesn’t have to look like his to be valid.
7. His body language feels cold or distant.
Sometimes, it’s not what he says, but how he acts. If he’s closed off — like crossed arms, no eye contact, or not smiling — it can feel like he’s emotionally withdrawing. These little cues can speak volumes, showing that he’s not fully there with you. It’s frustrating, but try not to take it personally — his body language might be more about him than you.
8. He brings up your past mistakes repeatedly.
If your dad keeps bringing up things you did wrong ages ago, it could show that he’s holding onto disappointment. It’s like your past mistakes are still what he sees when he thinks of you. That can be really tough, especially when you’ve grown and moved on. But don’t let those past moments define you — you’ve changed, and that’s what matters.
9. He downplays your achievements.
Whether it’s landing a new job or getting a promotion, if he always finds a way to downplay it, it hurts. A simple “Well, it’s a start” can feel like he’s brushing off something you’ve worked hard for. His tendency to minimise your wins can make you feel like your achievements don’t matter. But your hard work is worth celebrating, even if he doesn’t.
10. He sets unrealistic expectations.
When your dad expects perfection, it’s like you can’t ever meet the bar, no matter how hard you try. Even when you do well, he might just raise the bar higher, leaving you feeling like you’re always failing. These high standards can be exhausting and make you doubt yourself. Just remember that doing your best is enough, even if he’s not satisfied.
11. He rarely celebrates your milestones.
Source: Unsplash Whether it’s a graduation, promotion, or personal achievement, if he doesn’t acknowledge these moments, it can feel like he doesn’t care. A parent who’s proud will want to celebrate with you. When he doesn’t, it makes those moments feel a bit hollow. Don’t let it diminish your successes — celebrate them with people who value you.
12. He withdraws emotionally.
Source: Unsplash When your dad’s disappointed, he might pull back emotionally. He might become less affectionate or just harder to reach. The emotional distance can leave you feeling lonely or rejected. It’s tough, but don’t internalise it — his withdrawal is about his own feelings, not your worth.
13. He focuses on what you *haven’t* done.
If he’s always pointing out what’s still missing from your life or accomplishments, it’s a sign that he’s disappointed. “I thought you’d be further along by now” or “You still haven’t done X” can make you feel like your progress doesn’t matter. His focus on the gaps instead of your successes can leave you feeling unappreciated. But your achievements are valid, even if he doesn’t acknowledge them the way you’d hope.
