Success isn’t just about what you do — it’s also about what you don’t do.
There are plenty of things the most accomplished people do that help them get ahead, but we’re looking at it the wrong way, I think. What about the stuff that people do that keeps them from ever getting where they want to go in life? The most unsuccessful people tend to be the ones who are stuck on these habits.
1. They need constant validation from other people.
Source: Unsplash While it’s natural to want approval, unsuccessful people often take this to an extreme. They base their self-worth entirely on what other people think of them, constantly chasing validation for their choices and actions. It inevitably leads to a fear of taking risks or making decisions without external approval. It’s exhausting and ultimately stifling, preventing them from developing their own sense of judgement and confidence. Instead of trusting their own instincts, they’re always looking over their shoulder, wondering what everyone else thinks.
2. They avoid responsibility for their mistakes.
When things go wrong, unsuccessful people often have a ready list of excuses or people to blame. They struggle to admit their own role in failures or setbacks. This habit prevents them from learning from their mistakes and growing as a person. By always deflecting responsibility, they miss out on valuable opportunities for self-improvement and problem-solving. It’s like they’re stuck in a loop, making the same mistakes over and over because they never acknowledge them in the first place.
3. They procrastinate under the guise of perfectionism.
Many unsuccessful people hide their procrastination behind a facade of perfectionism. They claim they’re not starting a project because they’re waiting for the perfect moment or because they need everything to be just right. In reality, this is often a cover for fear of failure or lack of motivation. By never starting, they never risk failing — but they also never give themselves the chance to succeed. This habit keeps them stuck in a cycle of inaction, always planning but never doing.
4. They focus on problems rather than fixes.
Unsuccessful people often get bogged down in complaining about problems instead of actively looking for ways to sort them out. They spend their energy venting about what’s wrong rather than brainstorming ways to make things better. This negative focus can be draining and unproductive. It can also become a self-fulfilling prophecy — by constantly dwelling on problems, they start to see obstacles everywhere, overlooking potential opportunities and solutions that might be right in front of them.
5. They prioritise comfort over growth.
Growth often requires stepping out of our comfort zones, but unsuccessful people tend to shy away from this discomfort. They stick to what they know, even if it’s not serving them well, because it feels safe and familiar. This habit keeps them stagnant, preventing them from learning new skills or exploring new opportunities. They might dream of success, but they’re not willing to endure the temporary discomfort that often comes with personal and professional growth.
6. They have an all-or-nothing mentality.
Unsuccessful people often think in extremes. If they can’t do something perfectly, they won’t do it at all. If they slip up on a diet, they abandon it completely. This black-and-white thinking prevents them from making incremental progress or learning from partial successes. It also leads to a lot of abandoned projects and unfulfilled potential. They struggle to see the value in small steps or partial victories, missing out on the gradual progress that often leads to significant achievements.
7. They surround themselves with negativity.
The company we keep can have a profound impact on our mindset and behaviour. Unsuccessful people often surround themselves with negative influences — people who complain, criticise, or discourage ambition. This environment reinforces their own negative tendencies and can drain their motivation. They might justify it as being ‘realistic’, but constantly marinating in negativity can seriously dampen their enthusiasm and drive. It’s hard to aim high when everyone around you is focused on what can go wrong.
8. They resist change, even when it’s necessary.
Change is inevitable, but unsuccessful people often fight against it tooth and nail. They cling to outdated methods or ideas, even when it’s clear that they’re no longer effective. This resistance to change can leave them behind as the world moves on without them. It’s not just about big life changes — even small adaptations in daily routines or work processes can be met with stubborn resistance. This inflexibility can seriously limit their potential for growth and success.
9. They undervalue their time and energy.
Unsuccessful people often fail to recognise the true value of their time and energy. They might say yes to every request, take on unpaid work “for exposure”, or spend hours on unproductive activities. This habit leads to burnout and prevents them from focusing on what truly matters. By spreading themselves too thin or not setting appropriate boundaries, they’re left with little time or energy for pursuits that could genuinely advance their goals. It’s like they’re constantly running on a hamster wheel, expending lots of energy but not really getting anywhere.
10. They shy away from networking opportunities.
While not everyone is naturally outgoing, unsuccessful people often avoid networking altogether. They might see it as fake or uncomfortable, missing out on valuable connections and opportunities. This habit can leave them isolated in their field, lacking the support and insights that come from a strong professional network. They might pride themselves on being “independent”, but in reality, they’re cutting themselves off from potential mentors, collaborators, and supporters who could help them grow and succeed.
11. They neglect their physical and mental health.
Unsuccessful people often put their health on the back burner, thinking they’re too busy to exercise, eat well, or get enough sleep. They might skip regular check-ups or ignore signs of stress and burnout. This neglect can lead to decreased productivity, poor decision-making, and a lack of energy to pursue their goals. It’s a short-sighted approach that prioritises immediate demands over long-term wellbeing and success. They fail to realise that their health is the foundation upon which all their other efforts are built.
12. They can never let go of the past.
Dwelling on past hurts or failures is a common habit among unsuccessful people. They let these negative experiences define them, using them as excuses for why they can’t move forward. This habit keeps them stuck in the past, unable to fully engage with present opportunities. It’s like they’re trying to drive forward while constantly looking in the rearview mirror. By holding grudges, they also waste emotional energy that could be better spent on personal growth and pursuing their goals.
13. They never set any concrete goals.
Unsuccessful people often have vague aspirations rather than specific, actionable goals. They might say they want to “be successful” or “make more money”, but they don’t break these down into clear, measurable objectives. Without concrete goals, they lack direction and find it difficult to track their progress. This habit leaves them drifting, unsure of what steps to take next or how to measure their advancement. It’s like setting out on a journey without a destination in mind — they might be moving, but they have no way of knowing if they’re getting closer to where they want to be.
14. They consistently underestimate the effort required to be successful.
There’s often a gap between expectations and reality when it comes to achieving goals, but unsuccessful people tend to significantly underestimate the work involved. They might think success will come quickly or easily, leading to disappointment and giving up when things get tough. This habit sets them up for failure by not preparing them for the inevitable challenges and setbacks that come with any worthwhile endeavour. They’re looking for shortcuts where none exist, missing out on the valuable lessons and growth that come from putting in the hard work.
15. They prioritise being right over being effective.
Unsuccessful people often get caught up in proving they’re right, even when it’s counterproductive. They might argue pointlessly or refuse to consider alternative viewpoints, all in the name of being “right”. This habit can damage relationships, hinder teamwork, and close them off to new ideas and perspectives. It’s a form of ego-driven behaviour that prioritises feeling superior over actually achieving results. In their quest to be right, they often end up being ineffective, missing opportunities to learn, grow, and work with people.
