You’d think that once you get a narcissist out of your life, the nightmare would finally be over.
Unfortunately, that’s not always the case. Escaping such a toxic relationship leaves you with trauma and baggage that will take a long time to process. While the hardest part is over — you finally got rid of them! — the aftermath of a narcissistic relationship can still be challenging to deal with. Here are some things that might happen during this period (but don’t worry, it WILL get better).
1. You’ll likely face a rollercoaster of emotions.
Source: Unsplash Leaving a narcissist can stir up a mix of feelings. You might feel relieved and liberated one moment, then sad and doubtful the next, but that’s totally normal. You’ve been through a lot, and it takes time to process everything. Be patient with yourself as you work through these ups and downs.
2. The narcissist might try to win you back.
Don’t be surprised if your ex suddenly turns on the charm — narcissists often attempt to hoover their former partners back into the relationship. They might shower you with attention, make grand promises, or act like the person you first fell for. Remember, this is typically a manipulation tactic, not genuine change.
3. You may end up being the victim of a smear campaign.
If the narcissist can’t win you back, they might try to ruin your reputation instead. They could spread rumours, twist facts, or paint themselves as the victim to mutual friends and family. It’s frustrating, but try to stay above it. Those who truly know you will see through the lies.
4. You’ll start to rediscover yourself.
Being with a narcissist often means losing bits of yourself to please them. Now that you’re free, you have the chance to rediscover your own likes, dislikes, and dreams. It might feel strange at first, but embrace this opportunity to reconnect with your true self.
5. You might face some financial challenges.
If you were financially entangled with the narcissist, sorting out your finances can be tricky. They might try to withhold money or manipulate shared accounts, so it’s smart to seek legal advice if needed and start building your financial independence as soon as possible.
6. Your other relationships may need some TLC.
Narcissists often isolate their partners from friends and family, and now’s the time to rebuild those connections. Some people might not understand what you’ve been through, but many will be glad to have you back in their lives. Don’t be afraid to reach out and explain your situation.
7. You’ll need to set and enforce strong boundaries.
If you have to maintain contact with the narcissist (due to shared children or work, for example), setting clear boundaries is a must. Be firm and consistent. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but strong boundaries are your best defence against further manipulation.
8. You may struggle with self-doubt.
Source: Unsplash After being in a relationship with a narcissist, it’s common to question your own judgement. You might wonder how you didn’t see the red flags earlier, or if you’re overreacting. A bit of self-doubt is a normal response to narcissistic abuse. Trust your instincts and remind yourself why you left.
9. Your mental health might improve.
Source: Unsplash While the initial period after leaving can be tough, many people find their mental health improves over time. Without the constant stress and emotional manipulation, you might feel more relaxed, confident, and hopeful about the future. It’s like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.
10. You’ll learn to trust your own perceptions again.
Source: Unsplash Narcissists are masters of gaslighting, making you doubt your own reality. As you heal, you’ll start trusting your own perceptions and feelings again. This process takes time, but it’s incredibly empowering. You’ll rediscover the confidence to trust your gut instincts.
11. You might attract unwanted attention from other narcissists.
Source: Unsplash Unfortunately, leaving one narcissist doesn’t make you immune to others. In fact, other narcissists might see you as an easy target. Stay vigilant and trust your instincts. Remember the red flags you missed before and use that knowledge to protect yourself in the future.
12. You’ll discover incredible inner strength.
Source: Unsplash Leaving a narcissist takes courage, and staying away takes strength. As you navigate life post-narcissist, you’ll discover reserves of resilience you never knew you had. Your newfound strength will serve you well in all areas of your life.
13. You’ll finally have the chance to heal and grow.
Source: Unsplash Perhaps the most important thing that happens when you leave a narcissist is that you give yourself the opportunity to heal and grow. Without the constant drama and emotional upset, you can focus on yourself for once. It’s a chance to build a healthier, happier life on your own terms.
