Surviving a murder attempt isn’t just about making it out alive — it’s about what happens after.
The shock, the paranoia, the way it changes how you see the world forever. Whether it was a targeted attack, a random act of violence, or an abusive situation that escalated, coming face to face with death leaves scars, both visible and invisible. Some survivors speak about a new appreciation for life, while others carry deep trauma that never quite fades. Here’s what it’s really like to survive something no one should ever have to go through, based on the stories of those who’ve been through this harrowing experience.
1. The moment you realise it’s actually happening is a fear unlike anything else.
At first, your brain doesn’t want to believe it. It doesn’t matter if you saw it coming or if it was completely unexpected—there’s always that split second where you think, “This can’t be real.” The mind tries to rationalise, to convince itself it’s all a misunderstanding. Then reality slams into you, and you know you’re in serious danger. Some people freeze, some run, some fight back. But no matter how you react, there’s one shared experience: pure survival mode. Your brain stops overthinking and focuses on one thing: making it out alive.
2. The terrifying feeling of being completely powerless
Even the strongest, smartest, most prepared person can feel utterly helpless when someone decides to take their life. Whether it’s an armed attacker, an abusive partner, or a stranger in the dark, the realisation that another human has full control over your fate is something you never forget. Survivors describe this moment as overwhelming, like time slows down, and every single detail becomes too sharp — sounds, smells, even the way the air feels. It’s a level of vulnerability most people will never experience, and one you wouldn’t wish on anyone.
3. The body reacting in ways you don’t expect
Survival instincts aren’t as predictable as movies make them seem. Some people scream, others go completely silent. Some fight back with strength they didn’t know they had, while others become frozen in place. The body takes over, and logic simply does not apply. One survivor described going completely numb, like their body disconnected from their brain, while another said they felt an almost unnatural calm, as if their emotions had switched off. The body knows what it’s doing, even if the mind can’t process it at the time.
4. The moment of escape — or rescue
For some, survival is pure luck — an attacker gets distracted, a weapon jams, or help arrives just in time. For others, it’s a brutal fight, running on adrenaline and instinct. Either way, the moment you realise you might actually make it out alive is almost as overwhelming as the attack itself. Some survivors describe the moment of escape as a blur, like their brain refuses to store the memory properly. Others remember every detail, burned into their minds in slow motion. But one thing is always the same: the second they’re safe, the weight of what just happened crashes down on them.
5. The fear doesn’t end once it’s over.
Even after the immediate danger is gone, the fear lingers. For some, it turns into full-blown PTSD, with flashbacks, nightmares, and a constant feeling of being watched. Everyday life suddenly feels threatening, and simple things — walking alone, hearing a loud noise, even being in certain rooms — become unbearable. Many survivors describe the fear as constant, like their brain is permanently wired for danger. The rational part of them knows they’re safe, but their body reacts like they’re still in that life-or-death moment.
6. The anger at why this happened
After the initial shock fades, anger often takes its place. Why me? What did I do to deserve this? How could they do this? It’s a rage that burns deep, especially when there’s no clear answer. Some survivors say it never really goes away; it just gets buried under everything else. And when justice doesn’t come? That anger can eat away at a person. Many struggle with the fact that their attacker might still be free, still living their life, while they’re left picking up the pieces.
7. The guilt of surviving when other people didn’t
Survivor’s guilt is real. Some people walk away unharmed, while others don’t, and that reality can be crushing. They replay the events in their head, wondering why they made it. Did they do enough? Could they have helped someone else? The questions never stop. Even when they know it wasn’t their fault, the guilt lingers. The mind can be cruel, convincing them that their survival came at a cost, even when that’s not true.
8. The way people react — sometimes in awful ways
Source: Unsplash Survivors quickly learn that not everyone reacts with kindness or support. Some people ask stupid questions: “Are you sure it happened like that?” “Maybe you misunderstood?” Others treat it like a dramatic story rather than someone’s reality. Worst of all, some survivors get blamed — for walking alone at night, for trusting the wrong person, for “not fighting back hard enough.” It’s an extra layer of pain on top of what they’ve already been through.
9. The pressure to just “move on”
Source: Unsplash People expect survivors to eventually get over it and go back to normal. But what if normal isn’t possible anymore? The world feels different after coming so close to death, and pretending otherwise just isn’t realistic. Some survivors feel guilty for struggling months or even years later. They worry they’re being dramatic or dwelling on the past, when in reality, trauma doesn’t follow a set timeline.
10. The small things that bring unexpected comfort
Source: Unsplash For all the darkness, there are moments of light. A kind stranger, a pet that just knows, a song that reminds them of something good. Some survivors say they started noticing everything more — sunsets, quiet moments, even just the feeling of breathing. It doesn’t erase the trauma, but it helps. The little things become lifelines, reminders that life still exists beyond what happened to them.
11. The way survival changes you
Source: Unsplash No one walks away from an experience like this the same person they were before. Some survivors become hyper-aware of their surroundings, always looking over their shoulder. Others become more detached, struggling to reconnect with their old lives. There’s no right way to survive. Some people throw themselves into new experiences, determined to live, while others take years to feel safe again. The one thing they all share? They’re never quite the same.
12. The need for control over something
Source: Unsplash Surviving a murder attempt means losing control in the worst way. Many survivors find themselves needing to take it back, sometimes in unexpected ways. They might change their appearance, take up self-defence, or develop routines that make them feel safer. It’s not just about safety; it’s about reclaiming their life. After feeling powerless, having control over anything can be a huge step toward healing.
13. The reality that survival isn’t always a happy ending
Source: Unsplash Surviving is just the beginning — it doesn’t mean the pain stops. Some people struggle with fear, anxiety, or depression for years. Others find strength in their experience, but it’s rarely a straight path to healing. The truth? Survival is messy. It’s painful. It’s life-changing. But for those who make it through, it’s also proof of something powerful — they didn’t let someone else decide their ending.
