No one wakes up loving what they see in the mirror every day — it’s natural to feel a bit “blah” about yourself from time to time.
But what if that feeling sticks around longer than a bad hair day? Self-loathing is like having a mean little gremlin living in your head, constantly whispering nasty things. It’s not fun, and it’s definitely not healthy. If you’ve ever been in this not-so-great headspace (or are in it now), here’s how to start feeling better about yourself.
1. Recognise that your thoughts aren’t facts.
Just because you think something, doesn’t make it true. Your brain can be a bit of a drama queen sometimes, blowing things out of proportion. When you catch yourself thinking “I’m the worst,” try to step back and ask, “Is that really true?” Chances are, it’s not. You’re probably just having a rough day, and that’s okay.
2. Start a self-appreciation journal.
Source: Unsplash It might feel a bit cheesy at first, but writing down things you like about yourself can be really powerful. Start small if you need to — maybe you make a mean cuppa, or you’re good at remembering birthdays. The point is to train your brain to notice the good stuff about you, not just the bad.
3. Treat yourself like you’d treat a friend.
If your best mate came to you feeling down about themselves, would you agree and pile on more criticism? Of course not! You’d probably remind them of all their great qualities and give them a pep talk. Try to extend that same kindness to yourself. It might feel weird at first, but practice makes perfect.
4. Challenge your inner critic.
That nasty voice in your head that’s always putting you down? It’s time to talk back. When it says something mean, challenge it. Ask for evidence. Usually, that inner critic is just spouting nonsense without any real proof. Don’t let it get away with that rubbish.
5. Set small, achievable goals.
Source: Unsplash Nothing boosts self-esteem quite like accomplishment. Set yourself some small, doable goals each day. It could be as simple as making your bed or going for a short walk. Tick these off as you go, and give yourself a pat on the back for each one. You’re proving to yourself that you can get things done.
6. Practice self-care regularly.
Source: Unsplash Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish, it’s necessary. Make time each day to do something nice for yourself, whether it’s reading a book, taking a long bath, or watching your favourite show. Treating yourself well sends a message to your brain that you’re worth taking care of.
7. Surround yourself with positive people.
The people we hang out with have a big impact on how we feel about ourselves. Try to spend more time with friends who lift you up and less time with those who bring you down. If someone’s constantly negative or critical, it might be time to re-evaluate that relationship.
8. Learn to accept compliments.
When someone says something nice about you, resist the urge to brush it off or argue. Instead, try simply saying “thank you.” It might feel uncomfortable at first, but over time, you’ll start to believe those nice things people say about you.
9. Focus on your strengths.
Everyone’s good at something. Maybe you’re a great listener, or you can bake an amazing cake. Whatever your strengths are, focus on them. Think about how you can use these skills more in your daily life. It’s a great way to boost your confidence and remind yourself of your value.
10. Practice mindfulness.
Mindfulness can help you step back from negative thoughts and see them for what they are — just thoughts, not facts. Try spending a few minutes each day just focusing on your breath. When negative thoughts pop up, acknowledge them, then let them float away like clouds in the sky.
11. Do something kind for someone else.
It might seem counterintuitive, but helping others can actually make you feel better about yourself. It reminds you that you have value and can make a positive difference in the world. Plus, making someone else smile can give you a mood boost too.
12. Challenge yourself to try new things.
Stepping out of your comfort zone can be scary, but it’s also a great way to build self-esteem. Try a new hobby, take a class, or visit a place you’ve never been before. Even if you’re not great at it right away, give yourself credit for having the courage to try.
13. Celebrate your small victories.
Source: Unsplash Did you finally tackle that pile of laundry? Awesome! Made it through a tough work presentation? Go you! Don’t wait for big achievements to feel proud of yourself. Celebrating small wins can help build your confidence over time.
14. Practice self-forgiveness.
Everyone messes up sometimes. Instead of beating yourself up over mistakes, try to forgive yourself. Learn from what happened, sure, but then let it go. Holding on to past mistakes only feeds that self-loathing gremlin, and we’re trying to starve that little monster, remember?
15. Remember that you’re a work in progress.
Nobody’s perfect, and that’s okay. We’re all just trying our best and learning as we go. Be patient with yourself. Change doesn’t happen overnight, but with consistent effort, you can start to feel better about yourself. You’ve got this!
