Ageism can come in all shapes and sizes, but its impact on men versus women often plays out in very different ways.
Cultural expectations, workplace perceptions, and media portrayals can mean that where one group gets a free pass, another faces a frustrating set of double standards. These are just some of the ways women face frustrating instances of ageism, where men tend to be glorified for getting older. It’d be great if these things could change one day!
1. The media still glorifies “silver foxes.”
When a man’s hair turns grey, he’s often called distinguished or dashing — think certain leading men in Hollywood who become more “refined” with age. Meanwhile, women in the public eye can face pressure to dye their hair or risk being labelled “old” the moment greys show up. This double standard suggests that greying men are wise and sexy, but greying women are “letting themselves go.”
2. Older women get cast aside sooner.
In movies, TV, and advertising, men can still snag leading roles well into their 50s or 60s. But women? They often hit a career wall at a younger age because casting directors keep hunting for the fresh, youthful face. It’s not just showbiz, either — many industries subtly assume older men are “veterans,” while older women are outdated, making them lose out on the same opportunities men retain.
3. Different stereotypes about physical strength.
With men, there’s a notion that muscle naturally declines with age, yet a “dad bod” can be seen as endearing or normal. For women, changes in weight or muscle tone might be judged more harshly, viewed as a sign of neglect or “not caring enough” about their appearance. It puts extra pressure on older women to maintain a youthful physique, while older men are allowed to age naturally without as much side-eye.
4. Dating and relationship dynamics shift unequally.
When older men date younger women, society often shrugs or even applauds them. But let an older woman date a younger man, and it can spark comments or raise eyebrows as if it’s a novelty or “cougar” scenario. The labels differ, reflecting how age gaps get read differently based on gender, often penalising women for stepping outside conventional pairings.
5. Job market biases can diverge.
Men with decades of experience are sometimes seen as “industry experts,” while women with the same tenure risk being stereotyped as out-of-touch. Age combined with gender can set off unconscious biases, leading hiring managers to incorrectly assume older women won’t adapt to new technologies or trends. Meanwhile, older men might be thought of as “mentor material.”
6. Fashion policing is harsher on women.
Men can get away with wearing the same basic styles for decades — blazers, jeans, simple shirts. Women, on the other hand, face constant judgment. If they dress too youthfully, they might be seen as “trying too hard.” If they dress conservatively, they risk seeming “matronly.” The margin for error narrows considerably with age, and critics can be brutal.
7. Differences in hair loss attitudes.
Men often go bald, and while it can be a sensitive topic, society is more willing to accept it as “normal male ageing.” Women facing thinning hair or bald spots can get left out of that acceptance loop. They’re pressured to hide it, fix it, or feel shame about it, underlining how female ageing is policed more closely—especially in outward appearances.
8. Older men get framed as mentors, older women as “motherly.”
In workplaces or communities, men are more likely to be positioned as mentors — respected gurus passing on wisdom. Women might be nudged into a nurturing, motherly role that doesn’t carry the same prestige. While some women do enjoy a caretaker role, it can limit them professionally if they’re assumed to be there to support rather than lead.
9. Social circles shrink differently.
Older men sometimes face isolation if they retire or lose their main workplace identity. Meanwhile, older women can face social disconnect if they’re widowed or if adult children move away. Both deal with ageism, but for women, there’s often an added layer of being dismissed for “just being older,” losing the sense of being an active force in the community.
10. Pressure to “stay attractive” hits women earlier.
Men with wrinkles or a bit of a belly can be seen as rugged or fatherly. Women with wrinkles face a barrage of products and procedures marketed to fix every perceived flaw. That’s not to say men never feel image-related stress, but the female beauty standard remains laser-focused on youth, so the age-related scrutiny starts sooner and stings deeper.
11. Career restarts definitely aren’t welcomed the same.
Older men pivoting to a new job or launching a second act in their 50s are admired for their “courage” and “entrepreneurial spirit.” Older women trying the same might hear remarks like, “Isn’t it late to be making a change?” or “Are you sure you can handle that technology?” The narrative around who’s “allowed” to explore new paths is noticeably skewed.
12. Healthcare professionals can treat them differently.
Older men seeing the doctor might get careful attention for heart issues or joint pain, with an assumption they’re tough or stoic. Older women may report symptoms that get chalked up to “menopause” or “ageing,” sometimes receiving less thorough investigations. While it’s not universal, women commonly recount stories where their concerns weren’t taken as seriously, tying back to deeply ingrained biases about age and gender.
13. Grandparenthood stereotypes vary.
Older men who become grandfathers might be seen as lovable patriarchs, while older women become grandmothers who “help with childcare” or “bake cookies” — a more caretaker role. The difference can seem harmless, but it’s another subtle way older women are steered into support roles, while older men maintain a sense of authority or leadership in the family structure.
14. Retirement is framed as a golden age for men, a fade-out for women.
There’s a romanticised idea of retired men playing golf, enjoying their well-earned leisure, and living out a new chapter. Women’s retirement, on the other hand, can be framed as “stepping out of the workforce for good,” focusing on home life, volunteering, or grandparent duties. Instead of celebrating older women’s chance to explore passions or find new hobbies, the narrative sometimes implies their prime has passed.
