A lot of the time, it’s obvious when someone is feeling lonely, but that’s not always the case.
Some people will openly admit they’re feeling isolated, while others hide it behind a smile or insist they’re fine. However, if you’ve noticed a friend or family member withdrawing, avoiding social plans, or seeming down, they might be struggling with loneliness more than they let on. The good thing is that even small efforts can make a big difference. If you’re worried about someone in your life, here are some little ways to help them feel less alone.
1. Reach out regularly, even if it’s just a quick message.
When someone is feeling lonely, they might not have the energy or confidence to start conversations themselves. A simple text saying, “Thinking of you” or “How’s your week going?” can go a long way. It doesn’t have to be a deep conversation every time — just knowing that someone is checking in can make a person feel valued and connected.
2. Invite them to do something low-pressure.
Some people struggle to say yes to plans when they’re feeling isolated, especially if they feel like they’re being a burden. Instead of asking, “Do you want to hang out?” try something specific, like “Fancy a coffee this weekend?” Making it casual and easy to say yes to, without too much effort or expectation, can help them feel more comfortable about getting out and socialising.
3. Be patient if they don’t always respond.
Loneliness can make people retreat into themselves, which sometimes means they take longer to reply to messages or seem distant. If they don’t get back to you right away, don’t take it personally. Let them know you’re still there for them, and keep checking in without pressuring them to talk before they’re ready.
4. Ask them how they’re really doing.
Sometimes people say they’re “fine” when they’re not because they don’t want to feel like a burden. Instead of just accepting that answer, ask again in a gentler way: “I know you say you’re fine, but how are you really doing?” Giving them a chance to open up without judgement can make them feel safe enough to share what’s really on their mind.
5. Remind them of good memories.
When people feel lonely, they can get stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts. Bringing up happy memories — whether it’s a funny moment you shared or a trip you took together — can remind them that they’re not alone. It can also be a natural way to suggest doing something similar again, helping them feel more connected to you and the good times you’ve shared.
6. Help them find small ways to be social.
For some people, loneliness isn’t just about not having friends or family; it’s about not knowing how to reconnect. Suggesting little things like joining a club, attending a local event, or even going for a walk in a busier area can help ease them back into social life. If they’re hesitant, offer to go with them the first time to make it feel less intimidating.
7. Encourage them to talk to someone they trust.
Sometimes, talking about loneliness can be hard. If they’re struggling to open up to you, encourage them to confide in someone they trust — a close friend, a relative, or even a professional. Let them know they don’t have to go through it alone and that there’s nothing wrong with needing a bit of extra support.
8. Be mindful of how they might feel in social situations.
If they do agree to meet up, be aware that big group settings or loud environments might be overwhelming. Some lonely people feel more comfortable in one-on-one or small-group interactions. Choose settings where they can feel included without feeling lost in the crowd, and don’t pressure them to do more than they’re comfortable with.
9. Offer practical support.
Loneliness can sometimes come with other challenges, like struggling to keep up with daily tasks. Offering small gestures — like picking up groceries, helping with a household task, or running an errand together — can make them feel cared for. Sometimes, just having someone by their side for these everyday things can be comforting and remind them that they’re not alone.
10. Don’t assume they’re okay just because they seem busy.
Some people try to fill their time with work or hobbies to distract themselves from loneliness. Just because someone is busy doesn’t mean they don’t feel isolated. If they always seem to be on the go but never talk about meaningful connections, they might still be struggling with loneliness beneath the surface.
11. Let them know they’re important to you.
People dealing with loneliness can sometimes feel like they don’t matter to anyone. A simple, “I really appreciate having you in my life” or “I love spending time with you” can mean more than you realise. Even if it feels small to you, those words can remind them that they’re valued and loved.
12. Encourage them to take care of themselves.
Loneliness can lead to neglecting basic self-care—things like eating well, staying active, or even just getting fresh air. Gently encouraging them to do something that makes them feel good, like taking a walk or cooking a nice meal, can help. If they seem stuck in a rut, offering to do these things together can be an easy way to support them without making it feel like a big deal.
13. Be consistent.
Checking in once is great, but people who feel lonely often need ongoing reassurance that they’re not forgotten. Even if they don’t always respond right away, keep reaching out in small ways. A text, a quick call, or a spontaneous “thinking of you” message can help remind them that they’re on someone’s mind and not as alone as they might feel.
14. Remind them that loneliness doesn’t mean they’re failing.
Many people who feel lonely also feel ashamed about it, as if it means they’ve somehow failed in life. Let them know that loneliness is something everyone experiences at some point, and it’s not a reflection of their worth. Reassuring them that things can and will change with time, effort, and support can make them feel less hopeless about their situation.
Loneliness can feel overwhelming, but even small gestures of kindness can help someone feel less alone. You don’t have to have all the answers; you just have to show that you care. Sometimes, knowing that someone is willing to check in, make an effort, and be there through the ups and downs is all it takes to make a real difference.
