You might think you’ve got a solid grasp on your self-worth, but your behaviour might be telling a different story.
Sometimes without us even realising it, we send a message to the world that we don’t like ourselves all that much. You might not even recognise this feeling in yourself, but it’s blatantly clear when you act in ways that don’t demand respect, consideration, and care from other people — or show it to yourself. If you’re guilty of any of these bad habits, chances are you’ve got some work to do on your self-confidence. The good thing is, with a bit of effort, you can totally change and start showing the world just how great you truly are.
1. You constantly apologise for everything.
If you’re always saying sorry, even when it’s not your fault, it could be a sign that you struggle with self-worth. Over-apologising can make you feel like you’re always in the wrong, even when you’ve done nothing to deserve it. It’s as if you’re trying to pre-empt rejection by taking the blame before anyone else can point fingers. Apologising excessively can also create a dynamic where people expect you to take responsibility for things that aren’t yours to fix. Over time, that habit reinforces a negative self-image, where you start believing you’re a problem rather than part of the solution. Learning to pause and assess whether an apology is really needed can help break the cycle.
2. You struggle to take compliments.
When someone says something nice about you, do you brush it off or immediately downplay it? If compliments make you squirm, it’s often because you don’t believe the positive things people see in you. That discomfort can reveal a deeper struggle with self-acceptance and the belief that you’re not worthy of praise. The trouble is, rejecting compliments doesn’t just affect you — it also creates a wall between you and everyone else. It can make people feel like their words don’t matter or that you’re unwilling to let them in. Accepting a compliment with a simple “thank you” might feel awkward at first, but it’s a small step towards recognising your own value.
3. You put everyone else’s needs before your own.
Being thoughtful and generous is great, but when you always prioritise everyone else at your own expense, it’s a red flag. Constantly putting other people first can leave you feeling drained and unappreciated, as if your needs don’t matter. It’s a sign you might be seeking validation through being overly accommodating. What makes this even harder is how it can lead to resentment. Over time, you might feel frustrated that no one’s noticing your sacrifices, even though you never spoke up about your needs. Setting boundaries and practising saying no can feel uncomfortable, but it’s essential for building a healthier relationship with yourself and the world around you.
4. You avoid looking in mirrors.
If catching your reflection makes you uncomfortable, it could point to deeper insecurities about your appearance or identity. Avoiding mirrors often stems from a dislike of what you see, whether it’s physical features or the person you feel you’ve become. It’s more than just avoiding glass — it’s avoiding yourself. Unfortunately, it can create a cycle of self-detachment, where you distance yourself from accepting who you are. While it’s not about staring into mirrors for hours, taking small steps to look at yourself with kindness can gradually shift your perspective. Over time, you might realise there’s more to appreciate than you first thought.
5. You talk negatively about yourself, even as a joke.
Joking about your flaws might seem harmless, but those self-deprecating comments can reflect how you really feel. Constantly putting yourself down, even with humour, reinforces the idea that you’re not enough. It’s like giving yourself permission to believe the worst about yourself before anyone else can. The problem with this is how it shapes your internal dialogue. The more you hear yourself making those jokes, the more you internalise them as truth. Shifting to a more balanced way of speaking about yourself, even if it feels forced at first, can start to rewire that narrative into something kinder and more forgiving.
6. You find it hard to say no.
Agreeing to everything, even when you don’t want to, can be a sign that you’re afraid of letting people down or being disliked. While saying yes might feel easier in the moment, it often leads to overcommitment and stress. That pattern can leave you feeling like your worth is tied to how much you do for other people. Learning to say no is more than just setting boundaries — it’s about valuing your time and energy. When you start to prioritise what matters to you, you’ll notice a shift in how you feel about yourself. It’s a reminder that your needs are just as valid as anyone else’s.
7. You downplay your accomplishments.
When something great happens, do you immediately shrug it off or attribute it to luck? Minimising your successes can be a way of protecting yourself from criticism, but it also stops you from fully enjoying your achievements. It’s like telling yourself that you don’t deserve to celebrate what you’ve worked for. It can rob you of the confidence and motivation that come from recognising your hard work. Allowing yourself to feel proud of your accomplishments, no matter how small, can help you build a healthier relationship with your capabilities. Celebrating wins, even quietly, is a step towards seeing your worth more clearly.
8. You compare yourself to other people non-stop.
If you constantly measure yourself against other people, it’s easy to feel like you’re falling short. Social media can make this even worse, as you’re only seeing the highlights of someone else’s life. The endless comparison can leave you feeling inadequate, even when there’s nothing wrong with where you are. The tricky part about comparison is that it focuses on someone else’s journey instead of your own. Redirecting your attention to your progress, rather than their successes, can be incredibly freeing. It’s about recognising that everyone has their struggles, even if they’re not on display, and focusing on what makes you unique.
9. You sabotage your own efforts.
Whether it’s procrastinating on important tasks or not following through with your goals, self-sabotage often points to deeper feelings of unworthiness. It’s like you’re setting yourself up to fail because you don’t believe you deserve success. This pattern can hold you back in ways you don’t even realise. Breaking the cycle means challenging those underlying beliefs. By identifying what triggers the self-sabotage, you can start replacing those behaviours with ones that move you closer to your goals. You don’t need to be perfect, but you should give yourself permission to succeed, even when it feels unfamiliar.
10. You have a hard time accepting help.
Struggling to accept help, whether it’s advice or practical support, can be a sign of low self-worth. It might stem from a belief that you don’t deserve assistance or that accepting help makes you weak. As a result, it can leave you feeling isolated and overwhelmed. Letting people support you doesn’t diminish your strength. In fact, it shows that you’re human. Accepting help can create a sense of connection and remind you that you don’t have to do everything alone. It’s a small step towards building trust, not just with other people, but with yourself.
11. You settle for toxic relationships.
Being in unhealthy relationships can reflect how you feel about yourself deep down. If you believe you don’t deserve better, you might tolerate behaviours that hurt or disrespect you. That pattern can reinforce feelings of low self-esteem, creating a cycle that’s hard to break. Recognising it is the first step toward change. When you start valuing yourself more, you’re less likely to accept treatment that doesn’t align with that. Building healthier boundaries and surrounding yourself with supportive people can help you redefine what you deserve in your relationships.
12. You’re always chasing perfection.
The pursuit of perfection often hides a fear of being judged or not being good enough. You might set impossible standards for yourself, only to feel like a failure when you don’t meet them. All that constant striving can be exhausting and leave you feeling stuck in a cycle of disappointment. Letting go of perfection doesn’t mean giving up — it means embracing progress over flawlessness. Accepting that mistakes and imperfections are part of growth can take a huge weight off your shoulders. It’s a reminder that you’re already enough, even if everything isn’t perfect.
13. You avoid self-reflection.
If you keep yourself constantly busy or distracted, it might be a way of avoiding uncomfortable truths about how you feel. Self-reflection can be intimidating, especially if you’re not in a good place with yourself. Avoiding it, however, only keeps those feelings buried and unresolved. Taking time to reflect doesn’t have to be daunting; it can be as simple as journaling or taking a quiet moment to think. Facing those feelings head-on might feel tough at first, but it’s an important step towards understanding and improving how you see yourself. Over time, it can help you rebuild a stronger sense of self-worth.
