It’s not always easy to talk openly and honestly with people for a variety of reasons.
Maybe you only just met, you’re trying to make a good impression, or you’re nervous about how they might react to frankness. However, being real with people means saying what you truly mean, not hiding behind empty words or phrases. If you’ve said any of these things, it might be time to rethink how genuine you’re being.
1. “I’m fine.”
When you’re clearly not fine, saying this is just pushing your real feelings aside. It might feel easier to brush things off, but honesty is key if you want real connections. It’s okay to admit when things aren’t great—people will respect your honesty.
2. “I don’t care.”
Claiming you don’t care, when deep down you do, isn’t being true to yourself. It’s a defence mechanism to avoid confrontation or emotional vulnerability. Admitting that something bothers you shows that you’re honest about your feelings and willing to deal with them.
3. “Everything’s great!”
When you’re constantly saying everything’s perfect, people start to wonder if you’re being real. Life isn’t always perfect, and pretending it is can push people away. It’s okay to be upfront about challenges instead of glossing over them to keep up appearances.
4. “It doesn’t matter to me.”
Saying it doesn’t matter when it clearly does only shuts down real communication. You’re not being honest with yourself or the person you’re talking to. Sharing your real opinion, even if it’s uncomfortable, is how you keep things authentic.
5. “I’m over it.”
When you’re not really over something but say you are, it’s a sign you’re not ready to deal with the issue. Instead of pretending you’ve moved on, it’s more real to admit that you’re still working through it. That kind of honesty can help you actually get over it.
6. “I don’t need anyone.”
This sounds tough, but it’s rarely true. Everyone needs support, even if they don’t want to admit it. Pretending you don’t need anyone is a way of avoiding vulnerability, but it’s not being real about the importance of relationships and community.
7. “I don’t have time for this.”
This is often used as a way to avoid dealing with something uncomfortable. Instead of brushing things off, it’s better to be real about why you’re avoiding the situation. Taking the time to address what’s really going on will get you further in the long run.
8. “I’m just kidding.”
If you say something hurtful and then follow it up with “I’m just kidding,” you’re not being real. You’re trying to downplay something that probably came from a real feeling. It’s better to own what you said and deal with the consequences than to hide behind humour.
9. “I don’t mind.”
When you say you don’t mind something, but deep down you do, you’re not being truthful. It’s better to speak up about your preferences than to go along with something that bothers you. People can’t respect boundaries you don’t communicate.
10. “I’m not mad.”
If you’re saying this while clearly being upset, you’re avoiding dealing with the issue. Saying you’re not mad doesn’t make the problem go away. It’s better to talk through what’s bothering you rather than pretending it doesn’t exist.
11. “It’s whatever.”
This phrase is often used to shut down a conversation when you don’t want to show how much something actually affects you. It’s not being real if you’re brushing off something that matters to you. Being honest about your feelings can prevent misunderstandings and build stronger connections.
12. “I’ll think about it.”
If you’ve already made up your mind but say this to avoid confrontation, you’re not being straightforward. It’s better to be upfront about where you stand than to string someone along. Clear communication is always more respectful than dodging the issue.
13. “I don’t feel like talking about it.”
While it’s okay to need space, using this phrase as a way to avoid important conversations isn’t being real. If you’re always shutting down discussions, you’re not addressing what’s really going on. Being open to tough conversations shows you’re willing to work through things.
14. “I’m happy for you.”
If you’re not actually happy for someone but say this to avoid awkwardness, it’s not being real. It’s okay to have mixed feelings, and being honest with yourself about those emotions is important. Faking happiness only leads to resentment down the road.
15. “I’ve moved on.”
When you haven’t really moved on from something but say you have, you’re not being true to yourself or anyone else. It’s more real to admit when you’re still hurt or processing something. Acknowledging where you are emotionally is the first step toward genuinely moving forward.
16. “I don’t regret anything.”
Claiming to have no regrets can sound empowering, but it’s often not true. Most people have regrets about things they wish they had done differently. Being real means acknowledging those moments and learning from them instead of pretending they don’t exist.
