Your best friend should be your biggest supporter, especially when it comes to your relationship.
However, sometimes, a friend’s behaviour can cross the line from harmless teasing to outright disrespect. Whether it’s snide comments, inappropriate behaviour, or an unwillingness to accept boundaries, certain red flags make it clear that your friend isn’t showing the respect your relationship deserves. If you’ve been feeling uneasy, here are some warning signs that your best friend has zero respect for your connection with your partner.
1. They make negative comments about your partner for no reason.
It’s one thing if your friend raises genuine concerns about your relationship, but if they’re constantly making jabs about your partner’s looks, personality, or habits, that’s a problem. A best friend should want you to be happy, not take every opportunity to tear your partner down.
If their comments are coming from a place of jealousy or bitterness rather than concern, it’s worth questioning why they feel the need to belittle your relationship. A true friend supports your happiness instead of undermining it.
2. They dismiss your relationship as unimportant.
Some friends act like your relationship is just a phase or something temporary, refusing to take it seriously. They might roll their eyes when you talk about your partner or make jokes about how it won’t last, which can feel dismissive and hurtful.
If your relationship means something to you, your best friend should respect that. Even if they don’t fully understand it, they should at least acknowledge that your feelings are real.
3. They flirt with your partner.
One of the biggest signs of disrespect is when a friend crosses the line into flirting with your partner. Whether it’s overly friendly touching, constant compliments, or playful teasing that goes a bit too far, it’s not something to brush off.
A little banter is normal, but if your friend is making a habit of acting inappropriately, it’s a red flag. If they truly respect you, they won’t put you in a position where you have to question their intentions.
4. They always try to compete for your attention.
A good friend will understand that being in a relationship naturally means you’ll have less free time. But if they’re constantly trying to pull you away from your partner, guilt-tripping you for spending time together, or acting jealous when you’re unavailable, that’s a sign of insecurity.
Friendships and relationships should be able to coexist. If your best friend makes you feel like you have to choose between them and your partner, they’re not respecting your ability to have both in your life.
5. They ignore your relationship boundaries.
Every couple has certain boundaries, whether it’s about how much time they spend apart, what’s considered appropriate with other people, or what gets shared with friends. If your best friend keeps pushing those limits or encouraging you to break them, that’s a clear sign of disrespect.
A real friend will respect your boundaries, not test them. If they’re constantly trying to get you to overstep lines you and your partner have set, it’s worth questioning why they don’t take your relationship seriously.
6. They act annoyed whenever you mention your partner.
It’s natural to bring up your partner in conversation, but if your best friend gets irritated, changes the subject, or mocks you for talking about them, it shows they don’t value that part of your life. True friends should be happy to hear about what makes you happy. If they can’t even tolerate a mention of your partner without getting annoyed, it suggests deeper issues they aren’t addressing.
7. They encourage you to lie or keep secrets.
If your friend ever tells you to hide things from your partner — whether it’s about a night out, a message from an ex, or something that could cause tension — they’re not respecting your relationship. Honesty is key in any relationship, and a real friend won’t put you in situations that force you to be dishonest. If they think it’s acceptable to encourage secrecy, they might not have your best interests at heart.
8. They get overly involved in your relationship drama.
It’s normal to vent to friends about relationship struggles, but if your best friend takes it as an invitation to insert themselves into your issues, that’s a problem. Offering advice is one thing; acting like they’re part of the relationship is another.
If they’re trying to influence your decisions, constantly giving unwanted opinions, or even contacting your partner directly during arguments, it’s a sign they’re overstepping their role as a friend.
9. They bring up your past relationships in front of your partner.
There’s no good reason for a friend to constantly bring up your exes, especially in front of your partner. Whether it’s done jokingly or not, it can create unnecessary tension and shows a lack of respect for your current relationship.
If your friend enjoys stirring the pot by bringing up past flings, it’s worth asking yourself why they feel the need to do that. A supportive friend should be helping you move forward, not dragging up the past.
10. They try to turn other friends against your partner
If your best friend doesn’t like your partner, that’s their personal opinion, but if they’re actively trying to convince other people to dislike them too, that’s a serious problem. Whether it’s spreading rumours, making snide comments, or painting your partner in a bad light, it’s a clear sign of disrespect.
A true friend wouldn’t go out of their way to make your social life uncomfortable. If they’re making it difficult for your partner to feel accepted, they’re not just disrespecting your relationship — they’re disrespecting you.
11. They expect you to prioritise them over your partner.
Before you were in a relationship, your best friend may have been your go-to person for everything, but a healthy friendship evolves, and they should understand that your partner is now a big part of your life too. If they act offended every time you prioritise your relationship, it’s a sign that they’re struggling to accept your new dynamic. A good friend won’t make you feel guilty for wanting to spend time with your partner.
12. They make your partner uncomfortable
Sometimes, the biggest sign that your friend isn’t respecting your relationship is how your partner feels around them. If your partner has mentioned that they feel awkward, excluded, or even disrespected by your friend, it’s worth paying attention.
You might not notice it because you’re used to your friend’s behaviour, but if your partner picks up on something that doesn’t sit right, it’s worth considering whether your friend is being as supportive as they should be.
13. They dismiss your happiness.
A true friend should be happy for you when you’re happy. If your best friend downplays how much your relationship means to you, makes sarcastic remarks, or brushes off your excitement, it can be a sign that they’re not fully supportive.
Even if they don’t personally like your partner, they should respect that your relationship brings you joy. If they can’t even acknowledge that, their friendship might not be as genuine as you thought.
14. They act like your relationship is temporary.
Some friends struggle to accept change, and instead of embracing your new relationship, they treat it like it’s something that will eventually disappear. If your friend assumes you’ll “come back to your senses” or treats your partner like a short-term fling, it’s disrespectful.
They don’t have to love your relationship, but they should respect it as an important part of your life. A good friend knows that supporting you means supporting the things that make you happy, including your partner.
