Romance changes with the times, and a lot of it comes down to what you grew up around.
Gen Z tends to like things that feel casual, honest, and built into everyday life, while boomers often expect romance to look polished, private, and a bit more traditional. So when Gen Z calls something sweet, plenty of older people hear it and think, absolutely not. These are some of the things older generations don’t see as sweet, even if younger people swear by them.
1. Sharing location as a love language
For plenty of Gen Z couples, having each other on Find My Friends isn’t a control thing; it’s just a digital way of saying I’ve got your back. It’s the modern version of the “text me when you’re home” rule, or a handy way to see if your partner is already at the supermarket before you ask them to pick up milk. It adds a layer of passive connection that feels reassuring in a world that moves far too fast.
Try explaining that to a Boomer, though, and they’ll likely look at you like you’re living in a surveillance state. To them, romance requires a bit of mystery and a lot of privacy. The idea of being tracked like a pizza delivery is enough to make them want to throw their phone in the nearest bin.
2. Flirting via memes
A perfectly timed TikTok or a niche screenshot can often say more than a three-paragraph text ever could. Gen Z uses memes as a shorthand for “this made me think of you,” allowing them to stay in touch throughout the day without things getting too intense. It’s low-pressure, funny, and feels more authentic to how they actually communicate.
Most Boomers find this baffling. If you aren’t picking up the phone for a proper chat or writing a thoughtful card, they see it as a lack of effort. To them, a grainy photo of a confused cat isn’t a romantic gesture; it’s just a sign that you’ve got too much free time.
3. Staying in and ordering food as a proper date
With the price of a pint reaching ridiculous levels, many younger couples prefer the intimacy of a takeaway and a Netflix marathon. There’s something genuinely romantic about being able to completely relax in your trackies without the performance of a fancy restaurant. It’s about prioritising the person over the venue.
Older generations often see this as a sign that the spark has gone out before it even had a chance to light. In their world, a date involves getting dressed up, making a reservation, and putting in the work. Staying on the sofa looks like you’ve given up on the courting phase entirely.
4. The soft launch and photo dumps
Posting a casual photo of your partner’s hand or a low-key snap from a walk is a standard way for Gen Z to show they’re happy. It’s a public nod to the relationship that feels inclusive without being over the top. It’s their way of saying you’re a part of my world.
Boomers often find this level of public sharing a bit cringe. They were raised with the idea that what happens in a relationship should stay behind closed doors. To them, broadcasting your affection for an audience feels like you’re looking for likes rather than actually enjoying the moment.
5. Prioritising friendship over passion
Gen Z tends to want a partner who is their absolute best mate first and a romantic interest second. They want someone they can spend hours laughing with about nothing. For them, being best friends is the ultimate relationship goal because it suggests the connection is deep enough to last.
This can sound a bit uninspiring to some Boomers, who often view romance and friendship as two very different categories. They might hear “best friend” and worry that the chemistry is missing, whereas for a younger person, that friendship is the very thing that makes the relationship solid.
6. Therapy talk as a form of intimacy
It’s become very normal for Gen Z to discuss their attachment styles, boundaries, and emotional triggers on the first few dates. They prefer to get the heavy stuff out of the way early to see if they’re actually compatible. Being vulnerable about your mental health is seen as a brave, romantic way to build trust.
For many Boomers, this feels like an absolute minefield. They grew up in an era where you kept your problems to yourself and definitely didn’t bring up your childhood trauma before the main course arrived. To them, it feels less like a date and more like an unwanted counselling session.
7. Taking lots of pictures and videos of normal moments
Filming a silly dance in the kitchen or taking a selfie while doing the big shop is how Gen Z collects memories. They find romance in the mundane, everyday moments that make up a life together. It’s about capturing the “real” version of the relationship rather than just the highlights.
A lot of older people find this performative and a bit distracting. They feel like you can’t actually be present in the moment if you’re constantly trying to find the right angle for a video. They’d rather live the experience than record it.
8. Constantly checking in with each other throughout the day
Sending a quick “miss you” text after only being apart for three hours is just a way for Gen Z to keep the warmth going. It isn’t meant to be a dramatic declaration; it’s just a digital squeeze of the hand to let the other person know they’re on your mind.
This often comes across as clingy or suffocating to older generations. They grew up when being apart actually meant being out of contact, and they value that independence. To them, missing someone should be reserved for when you haven’t seen them for days, not since lunchtime.
9. Having deep talks by text instead of face to face
Many younger couples find it much easier to handle serious conversations through a screen. It gives them time to process their thoughts and choose their words carefully without the pressure of an immediate face-to-face reaction. For them, it can lead to a much more honest and productive chat.
Boomers almost universally hate this. They see it as a cowardly way to avoid real communication. To them, if you can’t look someone in the eye while you’re talking about your feelings, the relationship doesn’t have a very strong foundation.
10. Splitting bills as a sign of respect, not lack of romance
For Gen Z, going Dutch isn’t about being stingy; it’s about starting the relationship on a level playing field. It removes the weird power dynamics of who owes whom and acknowledges that everyone is struggling with the cost of living. It’s seen as a mark of respect for each other’s independence.
This is a huge sticking point for many Boomers who still value traditional chivalry. They might see a man not paying as a sign that he isn’t serious or that he lacks manners. Gen Z, however, sees the old-school way as a bit outdated and unnecessary.
11. Low-key gifts like playlists and digital things
Making a bespoke Spotify playlist is the modern version of the mixtape, and it’s a high-effort gift in the eyes of Gen Z. It shows you’ve spent time thinking about their taste and how they feel. Digital art or even a thoughtful shout-out can carry more weight than a generic shop-bought present.
Older generations often struggle to see the value in something they can’t actually wrap. They’re used to physical tokens of affection—flowers, jewellery, or something you can keep on a shelf. A link to a playlist can feel a bit like you forgot to go to the shops.
12. Being casually affectionate in public online
Leaving a supportive or slightly cheeky comment on a partner’s post is a standard romantic gesture now. It’s a way of publicly backing your person and showing the world you’re a team. These small, consistent interactions are seen as the backbone of modern romance.
To a Boomer, seeing a couple flirt in public online can feel like being an unwilling witness to a heavy make-out session in a car park. They find it embarrassing and think those private sweet nothings should be kept off the internet for everyone’s sake.
13. Talking about the future early, even in a joking way
Gen Z often indulges in future-faking as a bit of fun, daydreaming about what their imaginary house would look like or what they’d name a hypothetical cat. It’s a way to test the waters and see if their visions for life actually align, without it being a scary, binding contract.
Hearing someone talk about moving in together after three weeks can send a Boomer into a tailspin. They’re used to a much slower burn and worry that talking about the future too soon is a recipe for disaster. They see it as a lack of perspective, while Gen Z sees it as a fun way to bond.
14. Quiet evenings together being seen as the main romance
For a lot of younger people, the most romantic thing you can do is just exist in the same space without the pressure to entertain each other. Doing your own thing—scrolling on your phones or reading—while sitting together is the ultimate sign of comfort. It means you don’t have to put on a show anymore.
Boomers can find parallel play a bit depressing. They expect romance to involve active engagement and shared activities. To them, sitting in silence while looking at screens looks like a relationship that has run out of things to say, rather than one that is perfectly at peace.
